I'm pretty certain that I need to find myself a therapist--and soon. I've been freakishly crazy the last couple of weeks, sometimes feeling like I'm Julie Andrews twirling around the picturesque Alps and other times wishing I could start my hair on fire.
I think my emotions are riding a little rocky because I'm dealing with:
losing my long-time friend and confidante called food
a body that changes virtually overnight
hearing over and over again the same flippin' question: how much weight have you lost?
insecurity about when the bottom of this whole thing is going to fall out
fear about being a failure...again
impatience with not losing weight fast enough (yes, I know, direct conflict with point #2)
blah, blah, blah.
I tried the therapist thing several years back when I had lost a lot of weight and knew I had to face up to all the crap in my head. That shrink told me that I was depressed (no duh, I was 100+ lbs overweight and hated myself--BUT WHY???) and that I needed to treat the depression before I could do therapy. I only saw her twice.
I wish there was some kind of guidebook for picking out a decent therapist that matches what you want. Problem is, I don't know exactly what I want. I suppose someone to challenge me and make me work. Someone who would really push me to move past my normal smart ass comments. Someone who would make me answer truthfully. But how do you actually FIND a person?
Last weekend a therapist came and spoke with my WLS support group. It was the 2nd time I heard her speak. And she actually was the same person who did my psych eval. She had great energy that seemed a bit overwhelming (not a bad thing) and the way she acted/spoke/responded made me feel a little sick to my stomach. I think that's a good thing. But a lot of people in the room had a very negative reaction to her. I suppose, though, that that shouldn't bother me. I think I'm going to call and see if I can get an appointment. In case that doesn't work out, I'll take the resumes of any good shrinks in the Milwaukee area. I'll worry about insurance later.