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Tired

Posted Sep 12 2008 11:57am
I can't wake up properly today, I stayed in bed until 1pm, even though I was physically awake. My body felt too heavy to move. Robert called me before he went to bed, as usual. I hate being away from him, he means everything to me; we are each other's futures. He'll be here in 13 days.

I have to catch the train to work in an hour. It takes 2 hours on a Sunday to get to London, because only the slow trains run but that gives me extra time to sleep! I work on the Sleeper train up to Scotland; today I am going to Glasgow. It makes the time difference for Robert and I easier because we are both awake and working at the same time, and I like knowing that when I get up, he is too and when I fall into bed in the hotels (Scotland) he is falling asleep too. Saturday 23rd cannot come quick enough!

I am going to be strong with my eating tonight, so far I'm doing alright-soup, power bar (great things!) and fruit. I don't have any money to buy food (this eating disorder is expensive) so I have to keep away from all the shops in Euston station. I can do this. Last night wasn't so good, I ate the chocolates I had bought for presents, missing robert does not help but our future will come soon enough and I have to fight for it. We want kids and it is not possible while I am bingeing and purging every day, I dread influencing anyone into these behaviours; they can take your life away.

Because of my job I may not be able to write for a few days at a time but I will promise to catch up when I am home. I'm off into the cold winter weather now!! (It's sunny in San Diego :-( !!!!)
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