I finshed work over an hour ago but I'm not ready to sleep yet. I'm in Edinburgh, our best hotel! Since I stayed at dads this weekend and seeing the places I grew up in, playing in, I keep trying to imagine what life would be like if I had stayed there. I can't picture it; the memories feel almost as though they are made up. I walked through the woods to and from school for 6 years, caught tadpoles in the pond before that and sank the boat other kids abandoned. Tracy, Lisa and me. Swimming in the river by the lock. Those are the fun memories. The summer between year 8 and 9 (13 years old) was gold, we could have been anything. Now, another 6 years on from graduating from A levels, life still feels just out of grasp and maybe that's how it's supposed to be to keep us jumping for dreams.