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They Only Care If You’re Pretty or Dying

Posted Feb 16 2013 2:28pm

That depressing phrase spreads through Tumblr like wildfire. I’d say it’s because it’s true, but I really don’t think that’s the case, and here’s why:

As I sat and reflected on the last two years and how slow my 30 pound weight loss was, it’s no surprise that nobody really took notice. And when they did, it was a fleeting moment, where it was brought up and quickly swept under the rug as if it never happened.

“They only care if you’re pretty or dying.”

My sister-in-law will tell me about new foods she buys, and will say things like, “Oh, but it’s probably too high of calories for you.” This morning, at Starbucks, she said, “Look, they have these fruit drinks for only 40 calories that you could get.”

And thoughts of, “If she really thought I had a serious illness, she wouldn’t even make such comments.” Because to my sister-in-law, my food habits are just that — habits. They aren’t symptoms of a greater illness or something to be overly worried about.

They only care if you’re pretty or dying, after all.

But then I had to remember that eating disorders aren’t well known. Sure, they are plastered on every tabloid magazine and talked about on Dr. Phil, but to the general population, it’s not a real eating disorder unless your pretty or dying.

I can’t fault my family for not giving a shit. Because I know if they understood, truly understood the severity of an eating disorder, they would show more of a concern. It’s not that they don’t care, it’s just that they don’t know

And we can continue to lament over the fact that our families just don’t take it seriously, and that if they truly loved us, they would at least try to, but we can’t have everything.

In all honesty, we will have better luck getting support from people who have been in our shoes and people who are qualified to treat us. Anyone else is a bonus. We should no longer put expectations on those we love, and on those who love us, because in the end, we may be let down. And that’s not their fault. It’s our own, because we wanted, so badly, to believe in something that just wasn’t there.

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