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The Recovering Anorexic’s Clothes Shopping Experience

Posted Nov 08 2008 12:00am

So I got rid of half of my clothes because they were too small for me to wear. But the good news is that I finally made enough money to go clothes shopping. I needed clothes for three reasons:

1.) Winter is coming up, and I don’t really have a lot of winter clothes.

2.) I’m 20 pounds heavier. I needed clothes that fit me.

3.) None of my clothes were professional. I need professional looking clothes for my job.

The process of shopping for my clothes was very weird and a little depressing. I’m used to shopping in the little girl’s section because clothes in any other section were always too big. Well, no more kids clothes for me. Although I was constantly reminded of the fact that I wasn’t as thin as I used to be, picking off NICE looking clothes felt SO good. You can’t get a nice turtleneck or off-the-shoulder sweater in the kids section – there you are pretty much stuck with pink shirts that says “Daddy’s Girl” or “Angel” on them. Looking for jeans was a downer too – I’m no longer a size 0 and had to look in the size 1s and 3s. Trying the clothes on was awkward…my body is so different and curvy that I became almost embarrassed trying things on even though nobody could see me. None of the pants fit me – I’m probably a size 3 in the waist but a 1 in the length (I’m very short), so all the pants are either too small in the waist area or too long in the leg area.

I ended up leaving with a bunch of clothes. The first day back to work I curled my hair and wore a nice off-the-shoulder sweater, jeans, and black shoes as opposed to my normal wavy hair,  t-shirt, jeans, and flip-flops. People often mistook me for a kid or teen. Nobody ever complimented me. But that day I got a few compliments on my looks and I felt like an ADULT for once. I’m tired of feeling like a kid. I felt confident. I felt like I could walk around the workplace without worrying people thought I was trespassing for not looking like an employee. It was nice.

I still feel like I should exercise. I’m not happy with the way my weight gain has stuck to certain areas of my body. I don’t feel properly proportioned.

I’m on step 9….I have to make those scary amends. Wish me luck.

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