Today a girl on my team said the thing I've been dying to say for years"Hey [boss], do you mind if I leave at 5pm today? The weather outside is gorgeous and I really want to get in a long run"
I sat in my chair at the conference room table and furiously clicked through the Weight Watchers site as she expressed her love of running and the high she gets from a good run. [sidebar: the answer was no, we don't leave early to live normal lives, that would be ridiculous!]
I have never in my life wanted to go running. I have been forced to run by coaches, forced to run by trainers, forced to run by my own pants size, but it's never been a voluntary thing. It's been a necessary evil used to combat excess calories in my day.
I want to be one of those runner people (like Running Off the Reeses and One Twenty Five ) more than anything. I'd love to get my high from exercise and not from a successfully hidden binge on a Sunday afternoon. A few years ago I got close. I found a Couch-to-5K running plan on the interwebs and tried it out one March day.
For the first few weeks I would practically need a crane to lift me out of bed and onto a treadmill. I puffed and wheezed through every interval, and watched the seconds tick by as if they were hours on the dashboard.
But...three weeks in and I could do a run/walk set for a whole hour. And a few weeks later it became mostly running. Then it was just running. And then I ran a 5K in under 30 minutes.
I started to see my arms thin and my waist tighten and my thighs gain some muscle. I wasn't thin, but I was a lot closer to thin than I had been in years. And just as quickly as I had gotten there, it all went away. By the end of the summer I had returned to my nearly sedentary lifestyle. The muscles softened, and my fit body slowly grew.
I miss that version of me. I wasn't crazy about dieting or working out. I just felt like eating right and felt like working out. I saw the results and liked getting stronger. I still binged, but not as often, and with less food.
So I'm going to start that again. Tomorrow. And I promise to tell my few (very few!!) readers about it in this blog, because surely it will be a sh-tshow.
P.S. Don't worry, this won't turn into a running blog. Others out there have a lock on that market. This will continue to be a "wahhhhh I have to run and it hurts and some days I won't run and then I'll feel bad and sometimes I'll just eat" kind of blog.