Since I first moved out on my own, I have always had two things in my apartment - plants and pets.
I don't even think the reason has to do with the old adage that if you can keep a plant and a pet alive for a year, you are ready for a relationship.
At least I hope it doesnt, because my aloe vera plant isn't looking so hot.
Again.
As an essentially introverted, sometimes solitary individual, I love having living things surrounding me. I like green plants because they, too, are essentially introverted and solitary - quietly hanging out, demanding little but the occasional shower and some fertilizer (oops, which reminds me....).
And birds I enjoy because they are the opposite of introverted and solitary - my pet bird, Pearl, can often hear me coming before I've even put my car in "park" in the driveway and is already shrieking out a welcome.
It's nice to be missed.
But I don't always do the right thing by my plants or my pets. Sometimes, I make mistakes. The other day, I left for the day, and left my accident-prone bird outside her cage....all day long.
And the aloe vera plant....well, I just don't know. Maybe it isn't getting enough light. Maybe it isn't getting enough water. Maybe it got too much water last time.
Maybe it's just old and its time has come.
Plants and pets - like people - keep me humble. Relationships are relationships - some survive for a reason, some for a season, some for a lifetime.
During my recovery, I might as well have died along with the aloe vera plant - to screw up was fatal to my self-esteem. Today I realize that not everything is about me. The world, life (even my own) doesn't really revolve around me.
I am a facet of the ongoing unfolding evolution of collective humanity, and I am not the only one in my world who is making mistakes.
I am not the only one who is still learning.
I am not the only one who occasionally lets her brown thumb show.
Ed (for "eating disorder") tells us that we have to do things perfectly. Even after recovery, if we aren't vigilant, what was "Ed" will transform itself into an inner critic that thinks it is open season in other areas of life as well, and will continue berating us inside our heads.
Beating Ana (or Ed or Mia or EDNOS or BED or any other repetitive life pattern, for that matter) is not about never making mistakes.
Rather, it is about learning to say to ourselves, "Oops. Well, that didn't go exactly as planned."
Maybe it's time to go google "aloe vera plant care".
Or just take the patient down the road to someone who knows a bit more about plant care than we do, and ask for help.
Since I first moved out on my own, I have always had two things in my apartment - plants and pets.
I don't even think the reason has to do with the old adage that if you can keep a plant and a pet alive for a year, you are ready for a relationship.
At least I hope it doesnt, because my aloe vera plant isn't looking so hot.
Again.
As an essentially introverted, sometimes solitary individual, I love having living things surrounding me. I like green plants because they, too, are essentially introverted and solitary - quietly hanging out, demanding little but the occasional shower and some fertilizer (oops, which reminds me....).
And birds I enjoy because they are the opposite of introverted and solitary - my pet bird, Pearl, can often hear me coming before I've even put my car in "park" in the driveway and is already shrieking out a welcome.
It's nice to be missed.
But I don't always do the right thing by my plants or my pets. Sometimes, I make mistakes. The other day, I left for the day, and left my accident-prone bird outside her cage....all day long.
And the aloe vera plant....well, I just don't know. Maybe it isn't getting enough light. Maybe it isn't getting enough water. Maybe it got too much water last time.
Maybe it's just old and its time has come.
Plants and pets - like people - keep me humble. Relationships are relationships - some survive for a reason, some for a season, some for a lifetime.
During my recovery, I might as well have died along with the aloe vera plant - to screw up was fatal to my self-esteem. Today I realize that not everything is about me. The world, life (even my own) doesn't really revolve around me.
I am a facet of the ongoing unfolding evolution of collective humanity, and I am not the only one in my world who is making mistakes.
I am not the only one who is still learning.
I am not the only one who occasionally lets her brown thumb show.
Ed (for "eating disorder") tells us that we have to do things perfectly. Even after recovery, if we aren't vigilant, what was "Ed" will transform itself into an inner critic that thinks it is open season in other areas of life as well, and will continue berating us inside our heads.
Beating Ana (or Ed or Mia or EDNOS or BED or any other repetitive life pattern, for that matter) is not about never making mistakes.
Rather, it is about learning to say to ourselves, "Oops. Well, that didn't go exactly as planned."
Maybe it's time to go google "aloe vera plant care".
Or just take the patient down the road to someone who knows a bit more about plant care than we do, and ask for help.