NEDAW has come to an end and, as you can see, this is the first post of mine that mentions it since 2oo9. I didn’t do anything, nor did I attend any events.
In all fairness, even if I were more connected with this year’s National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, I would have still spent all and any free time on the NICU of MassGen in Boston (due to reasons mentioned in my last entry). My mind was elsewhere and researching a completely different condition for the past week.
However, had the circumstances been fairly normal, I still don’t think I would have been all that involved this year, maybe one more blog post. If I miss anything about being directly related to treatment, it is that I was directly related to the eating disorder community. It sounds strange, but I miss being immersed in the world of it. I’m not saying I miss being engulfed by an eating disorder itself, but the idea of recovery and being someone else’s constant reminder of possibilities and the study of it all.
I miss having such a passion for it that I had to do something during this one week of the year where I could freely go off on society and the way our youth is crumbling to weight-obsessed standards. Sure, the passion is still there, but it’s not constantly hanging around the back of my head. I have work to do, a run to improve, resumés to get out, plans to nail down.
Having a life is amazing. I’m free. That’s fantastic. But this is my life. This is what I need to be submerged in. I didn’t fight an eating disorder for funsies. I did it to help others fight and win. (And, yanno, to live.) This is why I need my degree. I’ve got shit to do that I am not yet qualified to do.
Which reminds me.. my cat totally threw up on my FAFSAs.