"@Fit_Motivator: The vision of a champion is bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion, when nobody else is looking. -Mia Hamm"
Posted on Twitter on Sunday, June 2, 2013.
Once again, another tweet that is supposed to inspire the masses. Somehow that isn't the picture it draws for me.
For me, this quote paints a story of a lonely person, afraid to trust that others might be able to help burden her load. Someone who suffers in silence while the world loads more expectations onto her shoulders - because she can handle it. She is strong. She shows no sign of the cracked fragility of her spirit, her soul which needs time and space and support to heal properly.
I see myself. Always competent. Always able to add another task, another person, another concern onto the list.
My cracked shell inside continues to split with each "yes" added to the millstone round my neck. My voice weak from underuse all these many decades. I bend to catch my breath; to wipe the sweat that mingles with tears from my face. Desperate to ask for help; frightened that no one will understand how this capable young woman, for all appearances say thus, may possibly need support.
I am learning to speak. To say words that will be understood as I meant them. The process is long. The pain unseen.
For me, the vision of a champion is one of a person, surrounded by her team of loved ones, professionals, friends who reach out a hand when she falls, who wipe the sweat from her head, who hold her in her weariness, who lay her down in her exhaustion to sleep.