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my daily struggles: school.

Posted Dec 29 2009 12:45pm

So, a while back when I realized I don’t have much left to continuously write about ED-wise, I had a lot of readers tell me they’d like to hear about what I struggle with nowadays without food getting in my way. So, I give my readers what they want.

My education has always been a sensitive topic with me. I guess you set yourself up for that when you’re not a “school” person and you are only attracted to people that are. My friends are amazing and tell me it’s not something that ever bothered them, but I’ve always felt a bit of an outsider.
I didn’t want to go to college to begin with – at least not right away – but I regret nothing about the experience. I eventually dropped out when I realized I was sick, which being on my own helped me discover. After a wasted 2 month stint in my first attempt at treatment, I was accepted to my friend’s college and eager to return. Four days before the start of Fall Semester, I was plucked out of my classes and dropped into Residential Treatment. I eventually went back and earned two certificates (with another break for treatment in the middle), thinking that I wanted a career in the digital arts. While I don’t regret either (and certainly use my experience in one far more than the other), the most I got from those two certificates is the knowledge that I am not artistic enough to make a living off of it.

I tend to forget that I’m as far behind in my education as I am because I was sick and often feel like it’s my fault that I don’t have a degree when I could have had one in 2008 like the rest of my graduating class. I guess this means that now that I’ve overcome a battle with anorexia, my newest struggles are dealing with the effects that’s had on my young life. I have to constantly remind myself that just because I do not have a degree does not mean that I haven’t gained some of the most valuable knowledge I could have ever dreamed of over the past 5 years. However, while I wouldn’t trade it in for anything, that knowledge does not get me a job that requires a Bachelor’s Degree.

No time for regrets, though. Now, all I can do is get what I want: my degree and a job I’m proud of and eager to get to each day. My goal is to earn my degree by the time I’m 27. Earlier would be great, but I’m trying to be realistic. And, as we all know, my career choice (Psychology) does not offer much without a Masters. I would love if people would stop throwing that in my face when I still have to get through Freshman English. Overwhelming me is not going to motivate me.

Here’s to furthering my education so I can help people to not miss out on their college years like I did. Hopefully, I will start this coming semester.

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