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looking for fun

Posted Sep 19 2013 11:15pm

Maybe that's not an ideal title... it could just conjure up such a variety of ideas of what I'm going to write about...  and this is a very PG blog...

Oh well, it's been a long day and I'm not good at titles even when it hasn't been a long day...

I was thinking about motion today. It's a perennial theme of course- especially because people who suffer from eating disorders get stuck, and they find it super hard to get motion or movement back into their lives.

I was thinking about motion with regard to fun in particular today. Someone had asked me awhile ago why she couldn't get herself to go out and do anything fun. She couldn't even think of anything fun she'd like to do. She thought she must just not be a very fun person, or creative enough to come up with anything. I think she's lots of fun- and darn creative in many ways.

I told her I thought her difficulty was with motion/movement, not so much with fun itself. She was disappointed in herself, thinking she was failing at finding anything fun. I think she was accidentally keeping herself stuck- by expecting herself to know what was going to be fun for her- without trying things out to see if they turned out to actually BE fun.

I think she got the cart before the horse as it were...

There's no magic way anyone can know what is fun. We just try something out and see what we think. Someone I know just tried Zumba (I may not have spelled that right...)- and realized she hated it. I tried a new kind of cookie yesterday- and it was awesome. 

If we think we're supposed to know what's fun before we've ever tried it we are going to stay motionless- and can become stagnant. Stagnant is awful. It's claustrophobic.

My advice was for her to pick something- anything (and I voted for "small")- and try it. And to keep the considering if it was going to fun to a minimum. I mean, I don't think we should pick things that sound atrocious- I'm certainly not going to pick jumping out of an airplane, because although I know many people like that activity, it sounds unbelievably terrifying to me- and I hate that stomach and heart in your throat feeling and that free-falling feeling... it's pretty clear I'm not a good candidate for jumping out of airplanes...

Pick something that has something intriguing about it for you. Oh, and it can be a version of something you already know you like or already do that you know is fun. It doesn't have to be something radically different if you don't want it to be.

Then... try it and you see what you think. And then you have some more data you can use to know yourself. And to know what counts as fun for you.

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