I was trying recently to get someone to notice and be proud of a bunch of things she'd done in a challenging situation she'd been in.
She wasn't really buying it- didn't see what there was to be proud of.
It seemed really obvious to me that there were lots of things to be proud of (and this always perplexes me about you guys, and makes me sad for you- how it's so hard for you to see things in yourselves and your actions that are "proud-worthy")
I told her to forget the proud thing and instead focus on ways she could chart, or take note of, things that went well. I decided we could call it "logging" things.
She thought I was weird... but, so what else is new :) She didn't see a point to this logging idea.
The point is that if we can log things (both things that go well and things that didn't go as well as we'd hoped) we can learn from them. This person has lots of trouble logging things that go well because she feels it's arrogant and taking up too much space to acknowledge things she's done well.
If we don't log things that went well, though, we don't really get it that they happened- and we don't fully remember what happened and what we did to make it happen. AND, then we can't use that info the next time a similar situation comes along- so we feel as if the situation is brand new and we must figure it out from the beginning (when really, if we had let ourselves log it the last time around we'd have a bunch of very useful and confidence-building data from which to draw in the present situation).
So, the moral is that we need to work to get ourselves to log experiences- in particular, the ones where we experimented and got good results.
Not sure if you guys recognize it but you've been doing quite a bit of logging these days- it shows in your comments on the blog. Here are just a few examples: Laura R, you're looking for a therapist, and each time you meet someone or talk to someone you're learning more and more about what you want and don't want. Meg, you're using data from the past few years to help you make this transition from school to the next phase of your life. Kym, you're practicing "Grey is OK" as you move away from black and white thinking into a more balanced mode. Laura, you're, well, you're doing logging away like crazy, and learning sooo much about how you want to do your life now. And Jacquie, you are logging not only info from your own history and experiments, but logging connections and themes that run throughout what others write also.
Log away guys. It's awesome. And it will serve you well. After all, it's so hard to feel like we have no data, and that we have to reinvent the wheel in every situation we come upon.