I have this friend, who is pretty awesome, and she and I have a saying.
Ok, well, two sayings.
“Music is the answer.”
Or, “Pizza is the answer.”
I don’t really think anyone can argue with those two statements, and I especially believe them to be true since music has pretty much been my savior during my recovery and there are many days when nothing satisfies me more than the crunchy italian specialty, BUT, yesterday I added something else to my list of “answers;” ice cream.
I have professed my love for make your own fro-yo, and of course my infatuation with Arctic Zero…and even expressed the joy that came from trying Butter Pecan ice cream for the first time when we were in Walt Disney World , but if I am being honest, despite the desires I have had for ice cream the last few weeks, they have pretty much gone ignored.
I mean, I didn’t run out to the store when my body said, “a cold novelty would taste really good right now…ice cream would feel fantastic on this pain in the ass sore throat I have had for weeks…”
I ignored all those signals my stomach was sending my brain because I was no longer on vacation and no longer deserved such an “indulgent treat.”
But before we slept in the amazingly comfortable bed, or danced the night away with one of my favorite DJ’s, I had ice cream.
Which, no pun intended, caused me to have a major melt down.
Post dinner, as we were in the room relaxing and getting ready I freaked out about the two scoops of Ben and Jerry’s I decided to have for dessert. (One of Frozen Greek Banana Peanut Butter and another of the Greek Blueberry Graham, both, eating disorder thoughts aside, are freakin’ delicious.)
Anyway, all I could think about was how weighted down I felt, how bloated and fat I felt in my clothes; how I was embarrassed because of my “gluttonous” choice after I had already had enough for dinner.
Thankfully I have a wonderful husband who reminded me that two months ago seeing a world-famous DJ and dancing for a few hours was completely out of the question due to my low body weight and concern from the doctors.
…Who reminded me that I do not need to exercise hours on end to “deserve” any sort of nutrition, even ice cream that I claimed had no benefit to my body whatsoever (FYI your body can use ANY kind of nutrient in moderation so there is no such thing as a “bad” food).
After my tantrum subsided I put some deep thought into the ridiculous statements I made to my husband, and the tears I shed to my mom, I came to the realization I am obviously not challenging myself enough.
Ice cream is still a challenge for me.
Even pizza I can only justify on nights we go out, or days I am allowed to exercise.
Like I said, food/nutrition is not only needed on days of excessive movement or caloric burn and that mind-set is just going to keep me stuck.
This means I need to a. try more fear foods, b. try them more often c. reframe the thoughts that come after.
This is by no means going to be easy, but I thought I would link up with a friend who is pretty new to the blog world but has a really great thing going…
My new friend Jessica is doing a really cool thing by encouraging others to join her in her quest to abolish the stigmas we have around certain foods. Of course everyone’s recovery is different, and for some people fat may be a major fear while carbs are for someone else…
The point is, challenge YOUR fears…not just in the realm of food, but for life in general because it truly is the only way to conquer them.
Cliche I know, but absolutely true.
I am already brainstorming for this Friday.
Happy Tuesday my friends. Make it an awesome week!!