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I too can safely and wisely choose the relationships that are best for me.

Posted Dec 04 2012 8:23am

I too can safely and wisely choose the relationships, situations, and experiences that are best for me, and boldly say “no” when I mean no, and “yes” when I mean yes. -Quote from Beating Ana

At best, Ed is like a toxic-ly overprotective parent who will never allow us to believe for one second that we can survive a day on our own without him.

And forget surviving relationships with others. Ed will tell us over and over again that we are clueless, hopeless and destined to stay lonely and unwanted forever.

Ed tells us that we aren’t allowed to choose relationships with others for ourselves because nobody else wants us. Ed will tell us we must accept toxic, abusive or selfish relationships where others do all the taking and we do all the giving because that is all we deserve.

None of this is true.

But since Ed wants a relationship with us where he does all the taking, as long as we continue to listen, he will continue to say these things to us.

So recognizing that we have the right AND the ability to choose healthy, productive relationships will always be a recovery thing and not an Ed-thing. If we want relationships that feel better than the one we have with Ed, we will have to strike out on our own to find them.

Do you want relationships that feel safe, healthy and happy? Do you believe you will ever have these things with Ed? If not, what can you begin to do even today to notice those others in your life who might be able to offer you the help, hope and relationship healing that Ed can never EVER provide for you, and cultivate their company over Ed’s?



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