I got home a little late last night and had to choose between writing on my blog and going to bed.
I really wanted to write on my blog, but I knew it was more important at that moment to go to bed.
It required more than a little discipline to get myself into bed, grumbling the entire time about how I could have taken just one little half hour to write first (and knowing full well it would have been longer than that).
The dialog I had in my head reminded me of what everyone working on recovery goes through, sometimes all day long. And it reminded me of the discipline it takes to continue in recovery, despite that dialog.
For me, it was just about sleep and wanting to write, but for those of you working on your recovery it is about far more difficult issues- should I eat this orange or not? should I purge or not? should I go exercise or not? should I go to my group therapy tonight or not? should I use low-fat yogurt like my dietitian says or the fat-free that feels SO much more comfortable?
All day you guys have to face choices like this, and I bet almost every time, at least in early recovery, you face a barrage of "voices" in your head about what you "should" do. And each time you have to make really hard decisions, and then follow through on them.
Hats off to all of you. What an extraordinary project you are all working on!