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I Am The Most Confusing Person In The World

Posted Jan 24 2013 2:32pm
For those of you who follow my blog you know a couple of things about me from my writing.

1. I suck as spelling and grammer

2. I can never stick to a diet

3. I’m a very emotional person

4. I’m pretty darn funny

Okay, maybe not the last one but I try.  In the last week I switched from a gluten-free to no dairy to paleo to vegan.  Seriously, all in one week.  I think every day of this week I’ve gotten emotional about one thing or another. Most of them was because I felt trapped in a world of diets and I couldn’t find the “magic” one for me.

I know the most important thing is to cut out as much processed food as possible and kick out the chemicals, hormones, ect. This is what messes with your mental state.

You know what also messes with your mental state? (in my case at least) Putting a label on yourself and trying to follow a diet.  I’ve gotten so many text and calls from my mom  and sister saying, “Okay… Now what are you eating?” “You are so confusing!” “If you miss one day on your blog, you’ll miss what diet your on.”

It’s true. I’m super duper confusing.

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When I first started this blog I wanted to post about my workouts, running adventures, being a mom, my eating disorder and share great recipes.  I love to cook and I love food.  I have learned a lot about nutrition since getting over my disorder.  I thought I needed to have a “niche” on this blog, not to mention I’m a very impulsive and easily influenced person when it comes to food, diets, and feelings.  Of course everyone wants a ”magical diet.” I wanted Paleo to be my way of life.  I felt trapped by a “diet.” I thought Vegan would be my way of life (Because seriously slaughter-house documentaries get to you.) As soon as I labeled myself as a Vegan, I felt trapped.  When I put restrictions on myself, label myself, give myself “rules” it always leads to downfall.

I lost all focus of what the initial goal of this blog was.

To eat healthy, exercise, and show people that it is possible to get over an eating disorder.

I had a talk with my mom this morning and told her how lost I felt with this whole finding a diet.  I told her I wished I could just delete the blog and start over because people are probably going crazy and getting bored with me changing my mind all the time.

 She said to me, “Ashley, you know what’s healthy. Just cook and post your recipes. You don’t have to label yourself for other people to follow you. Just do your own thing. You have always stressed what’s important for you mental state, you don’t need a label.”

As weight watchers would say (another diet I tried and failed to stick with) It’s time for me to stop dieting and start living.

I’m stopping the search for the “Epiphany diet” I so desperately wanted and I’m just going to Eat, Run, and Live Happy.

It’s hard to put your life out for all to see.  Sorry for all the confusion. I promise. No more. But you’ll always have to put up with the bad spelling and grammer. Deal with it.

(I know right after Josh reads this I’m going to be getting a text says, “I told you would come around.”)

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