Sometimes I feel like the five days of the work week go by so slowly and then Saturday rolls around and it passes at warp speed.
This weekend went especially fast because I literally slept the time away.
This is really weird for me because I normally am not very good at giving my body rest, but Friday, I came home from work to a husband that was sleeping on our couch (he is on night shift so technically this was his bedtime) and I decided to lay down right beside him.
For a glorious twenty minutes, until my dogs started barking like crazy at the delivery man, I took a mid-afternoon snooze that helped give me enough energy to prepare dinner and lay back down to sleep at about 8:30.
I woke up at my usual time, but crawled back in bed shortly thereafter, and actually SKIPPED zumba because I literally could not move fast enough to even think about dancing.
I believe Ryan was astounded when I told him I would be substituting my class for a boring old walk, but was happy to hear I actually honored my body’s request.
I repeated the same pattern of an early bedtime and no zumba this morning and proceeded to take another nap this afternoon.
This may sound like a very boring and unproductive weekend, and I will admit I feel the same way, but maybe this was a sign that I needed to slow down and take a break.
Almost every person in my office is sick and there is nothing wrong with letting yourself have some time to rejuvenate when you just aren’t feeling one hundred percent.
I am saying all this for my sake, hoping that if I spell it out, I might actually start BELIEVING, or accepting it as the truth.
I have a really difficult time wrapping my head around the fact that I may have actually needed that amount of sleep.
Sleep, to me, has always seemed like a waste of time, when I could have been using those hours for something more important, like moving and burning calories!
I have an even harder time justifying eating a normal amount of food when my body didn’t technically “earn” the nourishment.
Ryan will cringe when he reads this because he absolutely detests when I say things like that.
He insists a person does not need to earn nutrition, it just simply requires it to function.
Regardless of activity our bodies are constantly working to keep us alive (which, duh, who doesn’t know that) and that although an increased amount of exercise on certain days may induce a need for more nutrients, that does not mean it needs a deficit in times of rest.
He can explain all his scientific facts to me a million times over. I can even read them for myself, but when I am in an irrational mood, there is no changing my mind.
I am like a four-year old, focused on one gosh darn thing, and it doesn’t help when I am anxious and antsy because I have been sitting around for two days straight, with little distraction.
Logically I know my stomach did not blow up like a balloon over night, and I did not all of a sudden become an out of control person, but the point is, my brain becomes fixated on negative thoughts and has difficulty reframing.
Sometimes I am fabulous at changing my mindset, and others not so much, but what I am learning is that, it is ok to have these thoughts, as long as they do not translate into actions.
Which means, I need to expect and accept that there will be good days and bad; difficult body image moments, and some that aren’t as challenging, but that does not mean I have to jump on the treadmill, become even more exhausted by skipping some exchanges, or get down on myself because I wasn’t the best susie homemaker.
That being said, there are a few Top Chef episodes I need to catch up on, and my dogs look they need a little snuggle.
I hope you all have a wonderful rest of the weekend!