How to top that?

So I've learned, sleep is not a unifying factor in my mind-body connection.



I'm loosing track of days. My med changes are screwing with my head. I'm sick of affirmations and meditations and spirtuality and wholistic blah-blah-blah.



I want to watch the Criminal Investigations Network whenever I'm not sleeping. And I don't even care when I wake to find black ants crawling on my legs. (However, I don't want them in the cats' food, so I will be calling a bug person soon.)



Today I didn't drink. And I didn't purge. But don't start clapping yet. I ate like a friggin' pig and punished myself by wallowing in the discomfort and distended stomach. Fat pants for me. I probably ate over 5,000 calories today. Slowly but surely. Even with a pouch, it can be done.



Tomorrow I'm sure I won't be eating. I'll need to make up for today somehow. I need to make up for every day, don't I? That's what I need to get over.