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Posted Sep 12 2008 11:57am

Why do we get our hopes up for something we really want, when we know it probably won't happen? I was all set to go to San Diego next month, I put the money aside and was excited about seeing Mi Amore, and actually finishing my novel, while he was at work. Now he's too busy, I understand, work comes first and there is no point in going over if he's in LA most of the week. Now I don't know what to do with myself! I'd love to get away from here for a bit, but I know I should save the money as well. Oh I guess I'll wait till pay day, then decide.

Yesterday I managed to get down to the local health centre and register with a doctor, something I should have done 8 months ago! It took a swollen gland at the top of my neck/under my jaw to spur me on! It's no doubt from purging but it shocked me enough to do something. It's a 2 week wait to see the practice nurse for a general check up (I'm toying with the idea of mentioning the ED) but at least it's done.

It's my contract night (C/N) with work today, bascially I'm on call if someone is sick or on holiday and it's likely I'll be going back to Fort William; they'll tell me in about 2 hours. The way I see it, if I'm working there is more chance of tips and keeping my mind occupied. It's time to read and write, if I'm not too tired; and the views up there are stunning.

Better go get ready, just incase.
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