Again I’m deciding to do yesterday’s action. I like focusing on the negative (don’t we all), and today’s action had me focusing on the positive, and I’m just too pessemistic to do that right now.
“Cruelty cannot stop the earth’s heart from beating.”
Today’s Action Today I will lok to see what kinds of cruelty are going on around me and will put this into a list. What am I doing so that I will not be part of the problem?
I like venting my problems, and I’m feeling rather frustrated, so I figured yesterday’s action would help me get some things out. Well, there’s a lot of cruelty going on around me at the moment. My boyfriend’s ex-wife emotionally abuses her children to a high extent. She’s upset that I am together with her ex-husband, and has been so for the last three years. This woman is not stable. I am not overexaggerating or speaking out of hate. Over the last three years we’ve tried getting two restraining orders against her, but both attempts have failed. She’s gone as far as harrassing me, harrassing my family via telephone, threatening the lives of myself and my boyfriend, verbally abusing me in front of her children, etc. I’ve retaliated once out of anger; the rest of the time I’ve barely spoken once sentence to the woman. She regularly accuses me of having OCD and bulimia (which I don’t) and she accuses me of hearing voices in my head (which I never have) and she accuses me of bringing down her ex-husband and saying that I’m a burden because I don’t have a job (I’m a recent college graduate). Her kids are not healthy emotionally (they do show symptoms of emotional abuse, but I’d rather keep them private no matter how anonymous this blog may be).
We’ve called CPS informing them that the children have told us they’ve been disciplined with a hanger, and CPS did nothing. On the other hand, the ex-wife retaliated, lied, and said she would tell CPS my boyfriend was molesting the children (when he never has).
And what do all the laywers, child therapists, CPS, and friends say? “They should just learn how to get along for the kids’ sake.” My boyfriend isn’t the one causing the problems! He’s tried for the last THREE years to “get along” with her, but because she hates me so much, she puts us through this torture. His ex-wife is totally out of her mind, but everyone refuses to see this because she is able to manipulate everyone around her and make it look like my boyfriend walked out on the kids. He didn’t.
THAT is the cruelty that is going on around me. I’ve learned the justice system is flawed in more ways than one. I’ve learned that no matter how much I pray for my enemies, it won’t change them. The change has to come from within me. What am I doing so that I am not apart of the problem? I give it up to God, and I let her rant and rave everyday via telephone, face-to-face communication, e-mail, and others. I don’t respond of she harrasses me. But I will not stop living; I will not leave my boyfriend; I will not give up my relationship just because she has been trying to break it up for years.
In other news, I had dinner at my brother’s house. He cooked swedish meatballs. I took six. My sister-in-law saw this and said, “Did your brother put all those meatballs on your plate?” And I said, “No, I did.” and she said, “Wow! I’m impressed!” Translation: “I’m impressed you put that much food on your plate.” My translation: “I’m surprised you put SO MANY meatballs on your plate! That’s A LOT OF FOOD! Only FAT people EAT THAT MUCH food!”