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Getting Older

Posted Feb 07 2012 1:14am

This is going to sound horrible, but when I look at women like Jennifer Love Hewitt and Christina Aguilera, I get scared to get old and have children. Both of those women bordered on unhealthy thinness when they were most famous, and now both are somewhat…”curvy”…and that is being polite. I know it’s harder to stay in shape once you are in your 30s, and given that I don’t even exercise now, what am I going to look like when I am in my mid 30s?! And even if I didn’t get fat, I still don’t want to look like a woman. To me, being an adult woman means you are less sexually attractive. It sounds awful, but that’s something I crave…I crave attention from the opposite sex, even though I am taken. Even though I don’t seek out other men, even though I have been faithful to my husband, I still like knowing men find me attractive. And I feel that once I hit a certain age, my youth will forever be gone and I will be this…average woman.

The irony is men probably find a curvy woman more attractive than me, as I look like a child. I have been mistaken for my husband’s daughter on multiple occasions, given a children’s menu at a restaurant, and told I look like a teenager too many times to count. Granted this will work in my favor when I actually do hit my 30s, but still. The thought of being old just scares me to death.


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