I worked from home on Monday, a rare luxury. As I sat on my cozy couch working in Microsoft Project my mind went instantly to lunch. My traditional pre-fast options weren't available to me and I felt so tempted to order in all kinds of food.
When I finally ate my sandwich, I became intensely aware of the fact that I wouldn't be eating again until lunch the next day. I hated it. I wanted food, anything and everything. It was the lingering binge eating disorder that was tugging at me, something that I haven't felt since starting Eat Stop Eat. It had truly gone away, I felt none of the usual urges even when home alone.
But there was something about that rainy Monday, with Harry Potter on in the background, that made me so...itchy. I just. had. to. have. food.
I realized that it was so challenging because when I'm at work I am around people and in an office without ready access to food. I have to publicly declare that I'm going to get a snack if I want to eat. I also have the added coaching of my favorite co-worker, who has been been supporting me from the get go. She's always clued into when I'm fasting (and I suspect would be ready, willing, and able to knock a Hostess Cupcake out of my hand and into the trash).
Monday was indeed a trial.
I watched the clock. 1pm. 3:30pm. Tick. Tock.
If only my boyfriend could get home from work, then I'd be okay. He knows that Monday is my fast day, he helps me get through the dinner-less dinner times.
Late in the afternoon I do a light workout (anything heavy and I won't make it through the fast).
I see someone eating an orange on a TV commercial, while watching High School Hookers on Lifetime Movie Network (wtf?! how is this on TV?) and I decided I needed an orange more than night needs day.
But at long last my workday ends and I head to a salon to get a mani/pedi. Another hour that I don't have to think about food.
And then, just like every other fast day, I make it. I feel okay, and know I can make it to bedtime.
And when I wake up and do my Tuesday weigh-in, I'm happy with the results 164 pounds
Just four pounds until my first weight milestone, 10 pounds. Just 10 pounds from my "looks like a relatively healthy person" weight of 150 pounds. And only 20 pounds away from my true goal, 140.