I've struggled with how to explain to people that genetics and predisposition are not destiny, and why we should not be defeatist or think this means we must commit to a life spent chasing our kids with a scale. Either that, or we get to the top of the sandhill and declare our job done, thinking we cannot possibly face it again.
Thinking of an eating disorder as a chronic predisposition and not a chronic illness works for me. That predisposition is why the illness was inadvertently tripped in the first place, that predisposition is why we can't rest until we are completely clear of symptoms, and why we have to have early warning systems in place to identify problems, and why building a lifestyle with no room for ED is so important.
Keeping ED out of the picture with skills, habits, self-knowledge, support systems, and maturity: these are what I'm talking about when I refer to recovery. Not living a life fearfully and suspiciously on the edge: that's letting ED run the show.
What I want for our kids is that they get what they need to get away from ED and live free of ED but that also means maintaining his cage, and knowing where the key is.