So the other week my family and I went out to a restaurant. Usually I’m okay in restaurants, and that night wasn’t really an exception, but I wanted to write about something that occurred that was definitely eating disorder related.
I ordered what I usually ordered. I’ve been trying to eat healthier so before I had been substituting my fries with a side-salad. Well, this time I forgot but didn’t think much of it.
I looked over to another table and noticed a girl who looked sad. I can’t tell if she really was sad or not, but there was just something about her that made me wonder if she had an eating disorder. She didn’t look particularly sick or thin, but I couldn’t shake the fact that she just had that look about her. When the waiter came to take her order I listened in to see what she would order.
I don’t know if God was testing me or what, but she ended up ordering the SAME EXACT thing as me, except instead of getting a bun with her burger she got it wrapped in lettuce, and you guessed it, she ordered a side-salad INSTEAD of fries.
Immediately I felt defeated, as if we were in competition with each other and I had just lost. Our meals came around the same time, and it was really hard to look at my bunned up burger and fries with her lettuce and meat combo. I would watch her eat sporadically throughout the entire time we were there. She ended up leaving a few minutes before we did.
It was really hard afterwards because I had to find a dress for my friend’s wedding. I couldn’t find anything that fit and I thought I looked tremendously fat in everything I tried on. I cried on the way home.
I don’t know what God was trying to do that night; I find it quite odd how I noticed this girl and how she ended up ordering the same exact thing as me. I can’t shove that under the rug and call it a “coincidence.” If anyone has any ideas, let me know…