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a small change

Posted Oct 07 2011 11:20pm

Want to let you guys know about a minor change I'm making here on my blog.

Yeah, and I'm using the word minor on purpose, so no one gets all black and white and worries that something HUGE is about to happen.

This is a small change, but it's a significant one. At least for me.

From the first post I wrote on this blog, I maintained a commitment to read every word of every comment you all wrote. I have done this because I respect you all, I appreciate the care and time you take to write comments, I'm grateful for your participation in the blog, and I wanted to be able to respond to things you wrote in your comments and answer any questions.

I still have that same level of commitment to you all and to my blog. I never waver in that. What's happened, and this is a good thing, is that the blog has grown quite a bit over the past few years. We now have a sizable community and lots of comments. This is all good.

What it means though is that I'm not able to read every single word of every single comment anymore. There are simply far too many words now.

I want you all to feel like you can comment as you are. You have lots of good things to say. And I want you to know that I'll still be reading as many comments as I can all the way through. I'm most likely not going to get through every word of the very, very long ones.

That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with long comments. I know some of you like to write long comments, and some of you like to read long comments, so that's awesome. Some people like to write brief comments and some people like to read brief ones- also awesome.

You know me- I like to be transparent and clear. I like to be predictable and steady. So, if I'm going to make any changes, I like to let you guys know- so you can always know what I'm up to as the blog Den Mother.

There's something I'd like your help with in this change, and that is for you to ask any questions you have for me right up front in your posts, at their beginning. Most of the time you guys do that. But I'd hate for you to have some burning question that you ask at the end of a long post and then I don't see it. If that happened, I wouldn't answer your question because I wouldn't have even know you'd asked one, and this could lead to misunderstandings and confusion and hurt feelings... and all kinds of stuff we don't need.

The major reason I'm telling you about this change is so that you always know what to expect from me. It's also worth mentioning that I'm trying to be a good role model here. I find it's always best to be reasonable and realistic about what's possible- instead of trying to take on the entire world... and then becoming overwhelmed and having to give up.

I don't want to ever give up this blog. I'm happy as a clam with this blog. So, in addition to being happy as a clam (whoever came up with the idea that clams are happy anyway??), it's my responsibility to continually assess, and then to make adjustments, so that I stay healthy and happy and don't ever become overwhelmed or too tired- you know, so that I have long-term endurance.

That's what I'm always encouraging you guys to do. And I've always said, I wouldn't tell you to do anything that I wouldn't be willing to try also! That Walk the Walk thing, right? Right. So I can't very well tell you guys to have good boundaries, tell the truth about what works for you, be reasonable and gentle with yourselves... unless I strive to do the same.

This is a subtle change. For the most part I bet you won't even notice a difference. But I know you guys are uber-observant... and that even though you notice something, you may not know what you've noticed, and you may not know how to interpret what you've noticed (and that can make things go perfectionistic and anxiety-filled and south awfully quickly!). This way, if you notice this change, you won't have to worry even for a second about what it means, or did you imagine it, or has something weird happened.

This is also a terrific time to practice that old favorite saying of ours, about "change not equaling disaster"  :)

And, as always, questions (about this specifically, or anything else of course) are encouraged and allowed!

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