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A recovery milestone

Posted Jan 20 2011 1:49pm
Many of my recovery milestones thus far have been directly related to food/weight.  Things like eliminating my list of fear foods, not purging for a year and a half (and counting!), reaching my target weight and staying there.  Not that these aren't huge milestones, but they were also very concrete things.  I can do concrete goals very well, but more nebulous goals (increase flexibility! meet new friends!) are much more difficult.  I can't break them down into little steps.

One of the things I worked on a lot with TNT and have started to do with Dr. H is making friends.  I have been living here for a bit over a year, and I really didn't have any friends.  If I wanted to do something on a Friday night, I asked my parents.  There wasn't someone for me to call.

A few months ago, I joined a book club on because I love reading, and it seemed like the perfect fit.  I lucked out, as the people there are really cool, really nice, and really smart.  My kind of people.  I could discuss politics without feeling the need to censor myself.  They were very accepting.  January's meeting was last weekend, and I went and had a very nice time.  I brought some killer scones (Banana Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip). The hostess made decaf coffee for me, since last time I turned the regular coffee down lest I be up all night, which I thought was the sweetest thing ever.

I stayed around a bit after to help clean up and to spend more quality time with their pup.  As I did, the host, hostess, and one other person began talking about their weekly jam sessions.  Apparently, every week, a bunch of them get together with their stringed instruments and just play music. It had come up during the group that I play piano and sing, and so they invited me to come.

As I was driving home, I realized: I finally have friends now.  I haven't had that in ages.  It occurred to me that they might be inviting me out of pity or guilt (they were talking about this music thing and I was right there next to them), an idea I can't totally shake.  But I also know that they genuinely seem to like me, and they aren't the type to throw out a pity invite.

It feels...really good.  I have a friend in real life, and I have online friends, but I honestly don't remember what it's like to have a group of people to actually do things with.  It's all very new to me.
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