Earlier this week, someone made a really great discovery.
I hope it's a discovery many of you guys have made. If it's not, you might consider it, since it provides lots of relief and cuts down hugely on angst and anxiety and fear.
What this person discovered was that when something bothered or worried her, she could come to me relatively early on- instead of waiting until her anxiety was over the top, or waiting until forever and not mentioning it at all.
So many of you guys have learned along the way that you "shouldn't talk" or "shouldn't ask questions" or that you don't have a right to let someone know when you're worried or confused. You also often feel like, even if you're going to ask someone something, that you have to have a "perfect" script ready- or that you "should" have all the answers to all the questions you want to ask even before you ask them!
None of that's true though. You can just ask when you have a question or concern. Of course, it's important to consider who you are asking. I mean, sadly, it's true that there are some people in the world that we can't ask questions of, for whatever reason/s. But in good, strong, healthy relationships, asking is always ok, in fact it's a great idea.
So, this person came in and simply started asking me about what was concerning her. She didn't know exactly what about the situation was bothering her, but she knew for sure she was being bothered.
We talked about it, and fished around, and things became clearer and clearer for her. She was so relieved that she had mentioned this- and not kept it to herself.
So, there's the moral of the story- go for it and ask!