One of THOSE Days…Getting Through Tough Days In Recovery
Posted Feb 17 2010 10:09am
Posted on February 17, 2010
So, you know THOSE type of days. Everything that could go wrong does go wrong down to the tiny things like driving away from the drive through to realize that they gave you a flavored iced coffee instead of the coffee flavored iced coffee that you wanted and needed...desperately.
So on a day when all those little things combined with a few big things start to pile up, how do you get through? That is, how do you get through with out the old standby solution of smoking or drinking or snorting your troubles away...for a little while.A while ago I had written about the lingering consequences of addiction that can show up in our recovery. My particular lingering consequence has to do with me going to court because of some money that I owe. Not an outrageous amount but an amount big enough that I can't just pay it all right away.
Today was a follow up court date. Fine, not the end of the world. I'll go and sit in a court house all day and have the security lady be rude to me even though I was nice as pie, and I'll have some weirdo guy that stinks like booze sit next to me and want to strike up a conversation about ? I have no idea and I'll...well you name the little annoying thing and I went through it today.
I get it...I owe money, the creditors had to take me to court to get my money and I shouldn't expect my time in a court house to be like a day at the spa.
I also understand that my trip to the court had put me in a less than jovial mood causing every other little daily annoyance to be magnified leaving me shaking my head about 30 times today wondering...WTF?
Then I realized something. Even though I was shaking my head asking WTF, I was a little amused about just how bad everything was going. I realized that today was one of those days where you just hang on and wait for it to be over.
I didn't try to change the feelings this day was causing inside of me by going and getting effed up. I also didn't try to use this day as a justification to shirk my responsibilities and run back to bed with a "headache". Nope, I just realized what was going on and I hung on for dear life.
I don't have enough money to fix one of my cars, my car payment is late by a couple of days because of something that came up needing a large amount of money asap, I had to go to court today, I ate an egg sandwich for dinner tonight because that's all I had in the house and I won't have money to buy food until tomorrow.
But you know what? I made it through today without using any mood altering substances to change the way I was feeling. I feel my mood improving and I feel good knowing that today is over. Tomorrow is a new day and nothing that happened today has any real effect on how I feel tomorrow. Life is good.