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meth ruined my life

Posted Dec 21 2009 10:40am

i wrote yesterday about the beginning of my meth use now i wanted to share a couple a scary stories that i went threw while on meth. there was this one time when i was pregnant with my first child when i was stupidly doing meth. the day before xmas day i was so high that i mentally lost my mind cause me and my boyfriend had been fighting that night before and i wanted to get high cause he upset me so badly so i watch him put his dope in one of his usual hiding spots when he would need sleep and wanted to have dope for in the morning . after he fell a sleep i went and took all his dope and i did it all up i snorted it and i ate some of it . about 20 minutes later i started hallucinating that his mom and his 2 cousins were up stairs plotting against me they wanted to kill me but they wanted to make a game out of it to torture me slowly. we lived in his mom's basement at this time so there are like 3 different rooms downstairs. i hurried into the spair room where we kept a old mattress and box spring i pushed up the mattress and box spring and crawled underneath them trying to hide from his family who i thought was trying to kill me . it was very dark downstairs cause nick was sleeping and i was supposed to be a sleep(i really wished i would had been) too. i had imagened that they were all in the living room with camara's planted around our basement and they had night vision so they could see where i was but in my mind i thought i was safe under the mattress well about 3 in a half hours when by before i had worked myself up so badly that i finally convinced myself to just give myself up to them and let them shoot me or torture me whatever it was they chose to  do to me so i came from underneath the mattress with my hands in the air scream at the top of my lungs "PLEASE DONT KILL MY BABY I WONT DO METH ANYMORE EVER AGINPLEASE DONT KILL ME OR MY BABY" 

nick wakes up scared out of his mind cause he thinks there's someone in the room trying to kill me or him and he starts freaking out "baby whats wrong who's in here " he gets out of bed and runs to me hugging me i am still screaming and crying so badly i cant stop then BAM all of a sudden it was like someone had turned the light back on in my head and i looked up at him still crying slowly telling him what had happen and what was going on he went up stairs to check things out and guess what there wasnt a single person upstairs or any where in the house just him and i his mom had left 6 hours prior to go to work and his stepdad was still out driving truck on the road 

please understand this really did happen in my mind i truely believed all this was really happening to me i had NEVER been so scared or feared for my life so badly in my whole life. hopefully this personal experience will change someone else's mind before they stupidly decide to try meth and start the proces of ruining there life too  

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