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I Don't Drink Because....

Posted Jul 02 2008 8:09pm
Alcohol is our great social lubricant and in your everyday life the offer will continue to present itself. The situation may not always warrant an explanation, but if it does and you don't feel like blurting out "I don't drink because I am an alcoholic!"(....or in recovery), here are a few remarks that will stop most from inquiring further...or cause a bit of confusion.

I don't drink because:

* I am on medication

* What? Good god, the carbs!

* I am a holistic healer

* My friend asked me to stay sober to keep an eye on him/her

* I drive a scooter

* It's the devil's juice

* I'm going to another party later

* I only drink the good stuff

* I prefer absinthe

* Only on Sunday!

* I'm the designated driver

* Thanks, but I'm having some (insert non-alcoholic drink here)

* I'm allergic

* My party days are over

* I'm training for a marathon

* I promised my (fill in: parole officer, mother, roommate) I wouldn't

* I'd like to focus on the here and now

* It makes me sleepy

* I have hypoglycemia

* Rub your tummy and pout lower lip (if someone presses you, whisper "gas")
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