I've just come in the door from my new job and I'm way too wired to go to sleep, just yet. I can do three things at sonic speed - peeing, smoking a cigarette and towelling off after a shower. I'm the girl that leaves a puddle on the floor and no I don't mean when I pee, I mean when I shower. Also, our flat is seventy years old and the sliding door always collapses around me, much the chagrin of T. I'm trying to be more gentle with it, but it hates me.
Queensland is in level four water restrictions at the moment so the ads on tv say that I should only shower for four minutes. I think they should include an egg timer with our water bill because I'm often wondering just what happens if I go over five minutes. Does a chinese man appear from the plughole, gesturing wildly at the precious water and saying 'eighty dollar, you pay now' then poof he is gone? Four minutes = not enough time for me. I like to laugh in the shower (kinda creepy but most people know that I am kinda creepy so whatev) I hate use the whole 'I'm a girl' thing but it is simply not enough time to do my usual routine of scrubbing head to toe with soap, shaving pits, minge and legs and of course washing my hair. No one wants a seventies bush hanging out of my bikini at the beach, somebody think of the children! I'll let you in a super secret I have been sneaking some of Dave's metrosexual hair shampoo and conditioner which has a price sticker for $20 on each of them. Don't tell him because I have been replacing it back on the stand in EXACTLY the same spot/angle so when I get paid I'm buying my own pretentious shampoo and be all 'my hair smells like ladyboy 2007' as well.
I've decided that this blog is going to be not only about me, a dishelved yet charming 28 year old Australian female who has a fondness for brie cheese and oysters but also about the people in my life, my city of Brisbane and the characters that make my life interesting. I want to post more pictures of me and said people doing everyday things and showing you my beautiful country. I don't know how many of you are interested in Australia (or me for that matter) but I want to keep this blog as a record of my more personal moments and experiences. Thank you all so much for your encouragement with Recovering Beauty, it's true that this blog has cost me a relationship and few arguements but on the whole, people are liking the new, fresh outlook I have on life, which I try and encapsulate here, on my private (ha!) journal.
But the 'cast' to heroinegirl is vast, spanning three countries and also has a few special ones based in the past. Over the next few weeks I plan to introduce them to you so the dialouge here is even more meaningful. You know, it's kind of like when you watch a t.v show midseason and you are overwhelmed with remembering who is who but eventually you learn all of them and can rattle off names like they are friends of your own. I wonder - how many of you actually know the people I talk about and how well do you really know my backstory and personality? I can see my counter and there is roughly sixty people that read me everyday, don't know about RSS feeds though - that could mean some more. I've had some emails asking if I minded being linked - of course not! Please, I would be most honoured if you would link me and I will surely return the favour. Links are my friends and if I don't link you already and you link me - let me know and I'll fix it up immediately. Pinky promise xx.
Let me know any suggestions you have to make this blog more readable, I'm always looking for ways to improve myself and although this blog is a hobby and not a serious pitch for any writing work, I have stuff I want to publish and dreams involving writing. I'd love so much to be a writer, I just (like you and every other blogger) need to focus and actually do it.
It's T's birthday now, just past midnight. Happy birthday to him. To be dead honest, I've had feelings for him , deep, velvet secret adoration and I've told him about it. He doesn't feel the same way but I had to put it out there. I've watched other girl's burn him or yell and hurt him and I've wondered if I could offer something different - I believe so - but he simply doesn't. He doesn't give me much more reason than that and the past two weeks I've grown into a stronger, harder and more reserved woman with this rejection of sorts. I feel like I'm done with romance for now as I don't believe that wishing for something can make anything come true. Of course, it's complicated - the whole dave connection confuses things even more. We have always been with other people or recovering from someone else. T thinks I'm a lunatic and I guess I have been and will be for a long time yet. But I told him that I thought he was the bee's knees and ever since I have regretted the pressure this puts on our friendship. I used to think my candour was a strength, until I kept losing. I kept looking stupid, needy and afraid. I guess you can'tbe the princess to every man at the ball, Yet, as the moon shadows around midnight, I wish I could have just one more dance with the prince before I lose my shoes..and become a plain jane again. Yeah, it's a girl thing.
Okay… here it is.
Your choice, it’s simple -
her or me?
And I’m sure she’s really great.
But.. I love you… in a really, really big… pretend to like your taste in music,
let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you.