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The Art of Getting Aiden to School

Posted Feb 10 2009 12:41pm
My alarm goes off at 6am. I am not one of those people who like waking up to an alarm, nor do I like the sound of one going off. I absolutely refuse to hit the "snooze" button just because I can't stand to hear that sound again.

I then spend 10 minutes checking my emails and waking up enough to get in the shower. While in the shower, I listen to the radio for weather and traffic reports.

When I get out of the shower, Aiden is starting to whine as he is waking up. Aiden is not the happiest of campers waking up. The best time to get Aiden to take his "milkshake" is while he is just on the verge of opening his eyes. He doesn't care that there is medicine mixed in his Pediasure and will drink all of it. While Aiden is having breakfast, I get dressed and turn on the television so that he may watch the Little Einsteins. This must be accomplished before Aiden makes his way into the living room as a full blown meltdown will occur if the television has not produced enough power to light up New York City. This is the problem with huge televisions, they must warm up.

The next feat is to get the child dressed. Since I listen to the radio and my web-based weather man are usually in agreement, the weather appropriate clothes are chosen. (This morning though, I was left to wonder exactly what state everyone was getting their information from. Both the radio and Yahoo! weather said 63* between the hours of 6 and 8:15am. However, my Jeep thermometer was reading 13* LOWER!!!)

Aiden will fight when it comes to getting out of his jammies. Then he will fight you while attempting to get him out of the wet diaper. Once he is out of the wet diaper, he "Ahhhhs", but doesn't want a new diaper on. We then put on the shirt, which he is happy to do. He claps because he knows how to pull the shirt on over his head and stick his arms in the sleeves.

Next comes socks. Aiden allows socks, because the Sure Steps are soon to follow. However, when it comes to pants, this is our biggest fight. The child does not think that he needs to wear pants. And he will kick the crap out of your face if you get that close - enough to make me check that there is no blood dripping down.

Now it's time for the Sure Steps. According to Aiden, this is the best part of getting dressed. He now has weapons on his feet. He loves to click his heels together in the same manner Dorothy does in the Wizard of Oz. And since he is perfectly happy thinking there is "no place like home", he doesn't want his shoes on. Again, another battle insues until he remembers that the Little Einsteins are on.

Then it is time to pack his backpack. I have to make sure that he has a change of clothes and has his Gerber Graduates Mashed Potatoes. Hopefully, he doesn't need anything else for school.

I then grab my purse, cell phone and various other necessary items for the 35 minute drive to Tulsa. (I say 35 minutes, because that is the quickest we will make it. Mondays and Thursdays are the exception as that is when the state of Oklahoma allow those who have absolutely NO RIGHT to drive on the highways the opportunity to kill someone. On those days it takes 50 minutes to get to school because some people have no clue as to how to merge and it takes 10 minutes to get through one stinking traffic light because of it and ALL traffic must come to a complete stop for whatever reason.)

On the way to school, again listening to the radio for incompetent driver traffic reports. God forbid people have to learn how to merge onto I-44 and not slow down make traffic come to a complete stand still for 4 miles. And no, it is not possible to change lanes as ALL 4 lanes of traffic on the Broken Arrow Expressway is stopped for one exit/entrance lane - even the car pool/fast driver lane. The alternative route to school (Highway 169 - Death Highway) is even worse. At the exit to get to school, it is a fine art in itself not to get plowed into by a semi trailer entering the BA Expressway from Sheridan.

Once we get through the traffic lights, Aiden starts to get excited as he knows where school is. I get to our parking spot, unlock the doors, free Aiden from his recliner car seat, wipe his nose, grab his back pack, realize his Pediasure for the week is still at home, take him into class. Get the note that Aiden is out of Pediasure, give Miss Kate money for pizza party, tell Aiden good bye, get back in Jeep, drive .5 miles to nearest grocery store, find baby aisle, HUNT for Pediasure which is located on top shelf way above my head, stand in line at the only open register, pay for said Pediasure and head back off to school before snack time when Aiden will want his Pediasure.
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