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Joey's Story

Posted Dec 10 2008 4:06pm

It was October 2005 that we found out that Joey has Down syndrome. There I was, only a couple months pregnant, pregnant with our first child, and went in for my First Trimester ultrasound. The ultrasound technician was such a pleasant lady showing me different parts of my baby’s body when she suddenly got this look of concern on her face. She finished up the ultrasound and left the room. I laid there on the bed confused, “why did she make a face like that? I heard my baby’s heartbeat and saw it moving, what could be wrong?” She came back in with the doctor a couple minutes later and the doctor started doing another ultrasound. He went directly to the neck then the face. The doctor looked at me and told me that my baby had a cystic hygroma on it’s neck which was a fluid filled sac and that it’s nose was smaller than most babies’ noses at that gestation.

I was so confused, he then proceeded to tell me that there was a good chance that my baby has Down syndrome and that I should go talk to their genetic counselor.I laid there on the table confused and started to cry. I knew when he told me that, that my baby had Down syndrome. I just had a feeling. I was shaking and didn’t know what to do. The ultrasound technician led me into the genetic counselor’s office. I sat there in the chair and waited for her to come in. Once she arrived, she proceeded to advice me on getting my baby tested through CVS or amniocentesis. She also advised me that if my baby did have Down syndrome that I had the option of terminating my pregnancy. I didn’t even have the diagnosis yet and they were already talking about ABORTION! There was no way I would ever abort a child. I told the counselor that I needed to go home and talk with my husband before I made any decisions on testing.I left with a pile of various articles on genetic testing, and down syndrome. When I got out to my car, I went into hysterics. This was going to be our first child and it most likely has down syndrome. I thought that only older woman had babies with DS. I was only 24 years old! I called my boss since I was suppose to go back into work and told her what happened. She told me to go home and take it easy. Then I called my husband and told him, then called my mom and really lost it.

I finally calmed down enough to drive home. I walked in our house and was greeted by our dog. I sat on the couch and I don’t think I did much else until my husband got home. We sat down after he got home and talked. We knew the risks with genetic testing but since this was our first child, we decided to go ahead with the CVS.

I went in around the first of October and had the procedure done. And BOY DID THAT NEEDLE HURT!!!

It took less than a week for the results to come in. I had just gotten home from work when the phone rang. My husband wasn’t even home yet. I looked at the Caller ID and saw that it was my OB and he was calling from his home. I knew before I picked up the phone what he was going to tell me. He told me that my baby had Trisomy 21 and that it was a boy.

I hung up with the doctor and sat still for a minute before I reacted. I went into complete hysterics. I was uncontrollable. I tried calling my husband, no answer. So I called my mom clear out in Ohio. She made me call my in-laws right down the road so I wouldn’t be alone and then tried to calm me down. I finally calmed down a little and got my husband on the phone. In the mean time, my father in law and sister in law came over so I wasn’t alone. My husband finally got home and the four us of us sat there and didn’t know what to do or say.

I got online and started looking up websites on Down syndrome. The more I thought about it, the less upset I was and I started getting excited, then I realized, “IT’S A BOY!!!” We wanted a boy so bad and we were getting him! Down syndrome or not, it was going to be a boy! We had picked out the name Joseph Patrick after my father in law. He had actually asked me if we were still going to use his name, I asked him if he still wanted us to and he said, “of course!” My father in law has always been our number one supporter and adores Joey with all of his heart. I couldn’t ask for better in laws. I love them dearly!

I started reading more and more on Down syndrome. I wanted to educate myself, along with our families as much as I could before Joey was born. I read every article I could find and bought every book I could find. (Of course, I look at those books now and laugh- most of the time, they’re useless. All of our children are so different, the books barley did any good.

I found the Connecticut Down Syndrome Congress and we joined immediately. Luckily, we hadn’t missed that year’s convention yet. We registered and went to it a month later. That day we met so many other parents of children with Down syndrome and realized we weren’t alone.

Right after I had Joey, a couple other moms found my blog and that leads me to now. I’ve made so many online friends through this blog that I can relate with. Thank you ladies for finding me!!!!! I look back on how silly I acted, almost thinking that it was the end of the world and almost laugh at myself. God chose us to have Joey and I wouldn’t have in any other way. I have started to dedicate my life in becoming an advocate on Down syndrome and to being the best mom I can be for Joey and future children we will have. I love Joey with all my heart, extra chromosomes and all!

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