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I didn't disguise this random rant too well.

Posted Dec 12 2008 3:45pm

We spent from 7:45pm to midnight last night trying to get Georgia to sleep. She fell asleep (or at least stopped wailing) for 5-20 minutes a couple times in there, but we were baffled. Nothing worked until around 11:15 when I checked her diaper (again) and saw a little "debris". That's when we decided to try the ol' suppositories and about 15 minutes later we had...not to be hyperbolic...progress. Still, Georgia was so worked up and gunky with boogers and swollen that it took another 30 minutes (of back rubbing and lying on the living room floor watching Signing Time ) before she would calm down enough to allow Alex or I to take our hands off her back. Eventually we got her upstairs and into bed again where she whimpered on and off for another 10 minutes or so and then finally--FINALLY--went to sleep. Poor Alex. I didn't ask him to get up with us (he wakes up at 4:30 in the morning), but he felt so bad for Georgia that he stayed up until we could get her to bed. He will be zonked when he gets in this afternoon.

It's such an awful feeling when you know your child has a problem and you can't figure it out to fix it. I don't want to just start willy-nilly giving her suppositories, but this shit is a problem. Literally. It's gotten so Georgia cannot have a substantial BM without crying and sometimes screaming. The pedi- has wanted us to tackle the issue with diet lest she become reliant on alternatives, but I am beginning to think it's high time we call in re-enforcements. It shouldn't be THAT painful to go! Plus, it's not as though we have total control over her diet these days anyway what with her picky habits.

We're both still sick and the wheezing and rattling in my own head wakes me up at night, but I am  beginning to feel a bit better. I think Georgia will need at least another 24 hours if not more to get back to normal.

Georgia was healthy for the 5 weeks we were away from school and Music Together and more or less hanging out only with friends on a one-to-one basis. I want Georgia to go to school and be around other kids, but my goodness...it takes a lot out of our lives when she gets sick.

At the party the other day the child's father kept asking me why the doctors weren't doing something about Georgia being sick so often (we've had to cancel 3 playdates with his wife and daughter because Georgia was sick). I don't think she's been OVERLY sick it's just that she's around a lot of germy kids and she's prone to the sinus infections. I sort of got the impression that maybe he didn't believe me that I had to cancel our dates due to sickness, but whatever. I don't have the energy to make excuses in the FIRST place, I am not going to go back and apologize AGAIN. It's not like I ENJOY being stuck at home with a sick kid. As it was, I am feeling guilty we went to the birthday party in the first place. I was probably too sick to go, and I knew Georgia was getting sick, but I was worried they'd think we were lying since we DO tend to be sick every time we're supposed to get together! I would rather NO ONE COME OVER WHEN SICK then worry about offending me, and we really should have dropped off the gift and left, but I felt so guilty!!!

But maybe I am reading too much into it.

It was a tough party to be at anyhow because there were more than a few ignorant comments made and insensitive questions asked. It felt like "The Down Syndrome Show" and we were contestants. I don't know why it had to even be such an issue. We were trying to enjoy a kid's 1st birthday (she also has DS), I wasn't there to be a spectacle. The kids with DS outnumbered the one without and yet we were STILL the ones put on the questioning block.

I don't know how our friend's could handle the scrutiny being that it was THEIR friends and family, but I have to remember that we've been under scrutiny amongst some of our own extended family and friends as well. People are curious. And people are ignorant. And people just plain don't have manners at times. They have outdated information. Stereotypes are rampant. And well...maybe I should learn to just except it and move on, I guess I just never got it so badly or blatantly from people I am not related to so I was less inclined to take it in stride. I'm talking scenarios like this:

Alex and I sitting in the living room with G. We know no one. I had already introduced ourselves, but nobody introduced themselves. OK...so some people just don't have manners. So. The allusive questions begin, "How old is she? Is she walking? Can she talk? Is she always this happy?" and then silence. A good long period of silence. Other conversations. Completely irrelevant conversations. Good. I don't want to talk about DS. Go about your business. And then. Out of nowhere.

"I used to know one who lived on our block."

One?! I want to scream. One what??!!

But instead I stupidly say, "Oh?"

"And then there was one who used to chase all the girls and scare them. He was trying to kiss them. He's in his 60s now and he's still living."

"Ah. That's good."

What the F am I supposed to say? I am still pissed about the fact that he couldn't even say 'person' 'guy' 'dude'. But "one"??!?!??!?!?!?!

Oh. And let's not forget the silence of 6 people who don't know each other well or AT ALL. Then imagine that silence being broken by one woman turning to me singling me out gesturing towards my stomach and saying, "I'm just going to be forward and ask you. Did you test this one?"

What the FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF????!!!!

Of course I just politely smile, say "No I didn't." And turn my head away.

Alex later suggested when I told him I wished I had said something else but didn't know what to say that I should have said, "Well than you won't mind when I am forward in saying it's none of your effing business."

Why don't I think about these things at the time???

The thing is, I don't really realize how mad or upset the comments make me until later. I tend to brood on them. And I am not really a confrontational person by nature, nor am I really in the business of making people feel like jerks. But I don't know. When I got home, I was really annoyed. And just pissed that we couldn't go to a little girl's birthday party and not be a spectacle. I want to get over this because I'd SO much rather be tolerant and thus able to be an educator, it's just I didn't sign up to be the educator of the ignorant and it's not always the face I have on. I am happy to take on the role, I know I have to do it to protect my family, but sometimes we just want to eat some cake. Is that so much to ask???

Sometimes I just want to walk into a room and hand out cards with all the typical questions on them. You know hand them out while saying something like, "Yep, she's got "The Downs." I know what you're all thinking. This will answer all your questions. She's not always happy, sometimes she's a downright terror and she WILL bite if provoked. So watch yourselves. And uh...no...I didn't test the one in the oven, though I did consider it, not that it's any of your business. Now let's get on with the party."

And now, I must go close the hutch doors. Georgia has learned how to activate the DVD player which in and of itself is not a problem except that she likes to open the dvd drawer and she's come this close to ripping it off it's hinges several times already. The little brute.

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