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Posted Nov 06 2012 12:00am
Dear Kellsey,
Today you are six years old!! This also means that we have known you exactly one half of your life. The first three years of your life were spent in Ukraine in an orphanage and the last three years have been here... it's been a wild ride, hasn't it? Our journey has most definitely had its share of ups and downs... good times and not so good times. Sometimes I feel like the not so good times have outweighed the good ones... and that breaks my heart.

I have changed so much since becoming your mother, Kellsey... you have taught me that the world is not always so black and white... you have taught me that things are not always what they seem. And you have taught me not to judge anyone, because everyone has a story and most likely, they're doing the VERY best they can to give their book a happy ending. You have taught me that happy endings are not necessarily "Happily ever afters" and that sometimes, we have to change directions slightly from what we had planned. You have taught me to be patient when I thought I didn't have an ounce of patience left. You have taught me that sometimes we have to make hard decisions... ones that won't always be popular, ones that will be criticized and maybe even cost us friendships, but decisions that are necessary nonetheless in order for us to survive. You have taught me that I am not as great of a mother as I once thought I was. I simply cannot do it all. Humbleness is a virtue ;). You taught me that love cannot fix everything, despite my every effort to smother you with it. And you taught me what it means to fully, completely trust God to care for you when I just couldn't.

Kellsey, I hope that this coming year is truly your best year yet. I pray that you will find peace and happiness. I hope that you will be able to bond with someone, anyone, deeply and truly, because everyone needs that in their lives. I pray that you will FEEL and KNOW how much you are loved by so many people and will know how badly we want you to thrive and experience the true joy this life has to offer. I pray that those first 3 years of your life in Ukraine and all that you endured there will fade away, taking with it everything that's holding you back from being able to fully understand real love here. More than anything Kellsey, I just want you to be happy... really happy. And I hope that someday we can figure out how to make that happen for you.

I hope you have a great birthday! I know you'll like your presents and having cupcakes with your class. I can't wait to hear all about it!

I love you,
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