I am going to start off by saying that my kid is the coolest kid I could have ever gotten. I am THANKFUL for how he has opened my eyes onto a world I never knew existed and how he has taught us to appreciate life. Raising a kid with a special need is really not so different as you may [or may not] think. He eat, sleeps, plays, throws tantrums, gets mad, screams as all other kids his age. I do somehow still feel a little bit different at times, even though I most often forget about his [dis]ability.
This week was bad.
Not because of the day care, not because of Bookie being in India, not because I had to fix all those things alone. Nope because of getting disgustingly disappointed. Not once, but twice. If you know me well enough, you may also know a couple of stories from the past, similar and how I reacted to those.
Also, if you are someone I know outside of cyberspace too, you probably know that I am not very fond about talking about what I blog about. If I want to talk about it, I for sure bring it up, don’t you worry, but if not, let’s just leave it at that. That is one of the reasons I have a blog.
I also believe in free abortion. I understand that a lot of people abort babies with Down Syndrome, because of fear, lack of knowledge, false prejudices etc. However, I did think in my naive own mind, that people faced with that decision was neither people who had met my son, nor people that I knew, and even less people fitting both categories and who would actually would TELL ME about it.
First up I had to make a call to someone who we know (as a family) fairly well. She has on numerous times spent time with us, Vincent included. I called her and asked what I needed to know. She then told me of her fears of having a baby with Down Syndrome. She is pregnant now. She also continued to tell me she had done the neck measuring test and the combined blood test, and was now very nervous of it all. That is Ok, I understand this part…At first I tried to just listen to hear and try to understand what she was saying. Don’t get me wrong, I do understand that almost everyone who is pregnant hopes for a baby without any bonus chromosomes or some type of diagnose, I get that. But when you cross the line to general, and mostly wrong prejudices against people with DS, you loose my confidence. So telling me how people with DS are this and that, you will most likely piss me off. And that was just what happened. After hearing a few ‘fears’ I was not willing/able to listen more. This person also knows a lot of DS people, which makes it suck even more.
I found myself kind of telling her not to worry, everything was going to be Ok etc. I did however tell her that she had to also consider what she would do with a test result that came back not optimal. And I also told her she would most likely be some where around week 22, know if it was a boy or a girl, and by then have felt the baby move around, and have a fairly big tummy. But as to stand up more for Vincent than that I could not. I just choked and left the conversation with a gotta’ go.
On my way home from work that night I called Bookie. I told him what had happened, and he kept asking who said it. I told him like three times who it was, but he just did not get it, I mean we know her well, Vince probably knows her best of all of us??? Anyways, I came home to my wonderful kid fast a sleep in his little space men PJ and a teddy under the arm.
The next morning he woke up in a wonderful mood, full of laughs and this little fake cough he does which always make him crack up in the biggest goof laugh. He is SO cute doing it. I left him an hour or so later with the babysitter and headed for strike number two.
Based on this article from yesterday’s Svd, I ended up in yet another DS discussion. This time with a person who was telling me downright wrong things like people with DS suffer, they don’t have a fun life, and they are a burden to their families, which would make her have an abortion if she found out her kid had DS. This time I did NOT choke. I yelled back and signed off (msn). I was/am pissed beyond belief. This person is also someone who kind of knows me and has met my kid. I am hurt, sick to my stomach but mostly I am sad. Sad that people who actually KNOW us have not picked up on the fact that Vince is just a little kid, a real human being, who is NOT sick, NOT suffering and quite certainly NEITHER a burden NOR an unhappy kid.
Prejudices will always exist in society, but it sucks to know that some people in our bubble of life, even though they see my kid, still cannot see past these prejudices. It saddens me to know I have maybe hundreds of these fights to fight. Maybe this is why it is different to raise a child with a special need?
I am going to start off by saying that my kid is the coolest kid I could have ever gotten. I am THANKFUL for how he has opened my eyes onto a world I never knew existed and how he has taught us to appreciate life. Raising a kid with a special need is really not so different as you may [or may not] think. He eat, sleeps, plays, throws tantrums, gets mad, screams as all other kids his age. I do somehow still feel a little bit different at times, even though I most often forget about his [dis]ability.
This week was bad.
Not because of the day care, not because of Bookie being in India, not because I had to fix all those things alone. Nope because of getting disgustingly disappointed. Not once, but twice. If you know me well enough, you may also know a couple of stories from the past, similar and how I reacted to those.
Also, if you are someone I know outside of cyberspace too, you probably know that I am not very fond about talking about what I blog about. If I want to talk about it, I for sure bring it up, don’t you worry, but if not, let’s just leave it at that. That is one of the reasons I have a blog.
I also believe in free abortion. I understand that a lot of people abort babies with Down Syndrome, because of fear, lack of knowledge, false prejudices etc. However, I did think in my naive own mind, that people faced with that decision was neither people who had met my son, nor people that I knew, and even less people fitting both categories and who would actually would TELL ME about it.
First up I had to make a call to someone who we know (as a family) fairly well. She has on numerous times spent time with us, Vincent included. I called her and asked what I needed to know. She then told me of her fears of having a baby with Down Syndrome. She is pregnant now. She also continued to tell me she had done the neck measuring test and the combined blood test, and was now very nervous of it all. That is Ok, I understand this part…At first I tried to just listen to hear and try to understand what she was saying. Don’t get me wrong, I do understand that almost everyone who is pregnant hopes for a baby without any bonus chromosomes or some type of diagnose, I get that. But when you cross the line to general, and mostly wrong prejudices against people with DS, you loose my confidence. So telling me how people with DS are this and that, you will most likely piss me off. And that was just what happened. After hearing a few ‘fears’ I was not willing/able to listen more. This person also knows a lot of DS people, which makes it suck even more.
I found myself kind of telling her not to worry, everything was going to be Ok etc. I did however tell her that she had to also consider what she would do with a test result that came back not optimal. And I also told her she would most likely be some where around week 22, know if it was a boy or a girl, and by then have felt the baby move around, and have a fairly big tummy. But as to stand up more for Vincent than that I could not. I just choked and left the conversation with a gotta’ go.
On my way home from work that night I called Bookie. I told him what had happened, and he kept asking who said it. I told him like three times who it was, but he just did not get it, I mean we know her well, Vince probably knows her best of all of us??? Anyways, I came home to my wonderful kid fast a sleep in his little space men PJ and a teddy under the arm.
The next morning he woke up in a wonderful mood, full of laughs and this little fake cough he does which always make him crack up in the biggest goof laugh. He is SO cute doing it. I left him an hour or so later with the babysitter and headed for strike number two.
Based on this article from yesterday’s Svd, I ended up in yet another DS discussion. This time with a person who was telling me downright wrong things like people with DS suffer, they don’t have a fun life, and they are a burden to their families, which would make her have an abortion if she found out her kid had DS. This time I did NOT choke. I yelled back and signed off (msn). I was/am pissed beyond belief. This person is also someone who kind of knows me and has met my kid. I am hurt, sick to my stomach but mostly I am sad. Sad that people who actually KNOW us have not picked up on the fact that Vince is just a little kid, a real human being, who is NOT sick, NOT suffering and quite certainly NEITHER a burden NOR an unhappy kid.
Prejudices will always exist in society, but it sucks to know that some people in our bubble of life, even though they see my kid, still cannot see past these prejudices. It saddens me to know I have maybe hundreds of these fights to fight. Maybe this is why it is different to raise a child with a special need?