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Candy is dandy... but liquor is quicker!

Posted Apr 11 2009 12:46am

So we packed up the kids on a rainy Saturday to head up to the Jelly Belly Factory just over the Wisconsin boarder.  It is just a short drive and I needed to pick up some tasty treats to fill a gift basket I am putting together for a raffle item for the quickly approaching Buddy Walk.  So while we were there we thought we would take the kids on the "train ride" tour of the Jelly Belly Factory.  OK... thereshouldhave been a disclaimer on the ride.  

YES, ALTHOUGH THIS RIDE HAS THE APPEARANCE OF A TRAIN AND THEREFORE HAS ALREADY RAISED THE EXPECTATIONS OF SMALL CHILDREN WHO LOVE TRAINS... THIS RIDE IS NOT FOR SMALL CHILDREN WITH ANTS IN THEIR PANTS.  YOUR GRANDMOTHER IN HER WALKER MOVES FASTER.  THE MAJORITY OF THE TOUR IS WATCHING HOW THEY MAKE CANDY VIA PRE RECORDED CLIPS ON TV MONITORS MOUNTED ON THE WALL THROUGHOUT THE TOUR.  THERE IS NO ACTUAL CANDY MAKING TO BE SEEN.   WILLY WONKA DOES NOT LIVE HERE. THE JELLY BEAN ART IS OF LITTLE INTEREST TO SMALL PEOPLE  WHO WOULD RATHER EAT THE JELLY BEANS.  KEEP THIS IN MIND BEFORE BOARDING.

That being said... my advice is to just buy your candy and get the hell out.  We left with enough jelly beans to rot our teeth and the teeth of perhaps the next several family generations.... after which Andrew informs us... "I don't like jelly beans...just candy corns".  Well thank heaven for that because we got candy corns too!  While we were waiting for the "not really a fun train ride" tour, we checked out the tasting booth where you can sample the jelly bell flavors.  Patrick actually tried bogger, black pepper and rotten egg.  He said the rotten egg was the worst.  My question was... who is the poor soul that has to decide whether or not the taste is authentic? With flavors like bogger, vomit, ear wax, baby wipes and the like... I would think that getting a job as a "taste tester" at the Jelly Belly factory would not be as fun of a job as one might assume.  I wonder if they get hazard pay?  

Anyway... I got all the jelly beans that I needed and we headed back home. The basket (containing hand painted martini glasses, drink flavored jelly bellies, and party favors) is done. I am running around today picking up a few more donations and finishing up all the tags and labels for the silent auction and raffles... then Sam has a doctors appointment and Andrew has a Cub Scout meeting.  I am planning dinner for about 9:30pm...LOL. 

 
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