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Beauty in the eye of a special needs mom

Posted Apr 19 2010 7:05am
Wow... It seems like forever since my last post... maybe because it has been! Several things have happened since my last post including the passing of a friend (ELE), a wedding, set a date to have the crappy windows replaced (and out those crappy windows also went any hopes of getting an iphone anytime soon),   a trip to Michigan, cat vomit and more cat vomit, Easter x2, the kick off of soccer season and much more.

Needless to say we have been busy.  That statement could be followed up with "well when are you not busy" but busy is good and it means that everyone is healthy and active.  

In vain I have tried to keep up with the house work.  You would be hard pressed to walk into my house and fine a tidy area.  It is not that I have not tried but when you are followed by tornadoes all day what is left in the wake is destruction and chaos and a faint unpleasant scent.  There is however, a roughly sketched plan that in the end will leave me with a tidy space and a place to hide chaos rather than put it on display.  This plan involves a few built ins, a very large garage sale, a few bottles of wine and patience!

Piles of laundry are currently heaped on the couch waiting to be folded and put away... secretly I like to think of it as a staging area for all the clothes that fit.  I am gearing up for the mother of all garage sales and most of the clothes that are actually still in the boys drawers don't fit (otherwise they would have been worn and washed and in a heap on the couch)... so slowly I am trying to remove those clothes, reshuffle closets and get organized for the garage sale.  So you see there is some logic to my madness.  

Amidst all this chaos that has become our norm... something wonderful has taken place.  Something that to the naked eye may seem common place and insignificant.  Something that in a moment of distraction would have been missed.  Something that despite its incredible beauty is under appreciated by most.  

Yesterday as effortlessly as you please, Sam walked up 2 steps on our front porch, reached the door and rang the door bell.  Then stood there waiting patiently to enter the house.  

Now why is this such a big deal you might ask... well it is because Sam did it!  This quite, unassuming moment is a big-black-sharpie-marker-line in Sam's developmental time line. Sam has never, without dropping to all fours or without holding someone's hand climbed these stairs on his own.  There is no handrail for support or balance.  He didn't even break his stride... he just marched right up those steps like he had been doing it all along and then he didn't drop to his knees... he stood patiently and waited.  We have been working on stair climbing (up and down) with Sam for a very long time but this was an unexpected surprise.  

It was only 2 steps.... 2 beautiful steps taken with such mastery that I had to stop and pinch myself to make sure that I actually saw what I just saw.  When Sam learns a new skill it is not without first enduring months and years of repetitive practice.  Rarely does Sam let on that this new skill is sinking in or even that he is any closer to mastering it then he was 6 months or even 2 years ago.   I have learned with Sam that "nothing is impossible... the impossible just takes a little longer" but even then I sometimes get wrapped up in a wet blanket of possibility that there are things that he will never "get".  Yet, like a shock wave of clarity he nails a new and unexpected skill all at once... and that is just how he rolls.  There is no pre-warning, there is no almost there... there is only ON and OFF with Sam.  The switch will remain off until Sam is ready to turn it on and then a new bright light shines where there was only darkness before.  It is truly a thing of beauty to behold the birth of a new light.

So for now my messy house and chaotic schedule are here to stay.  And as I slowly try to remedy my clutter situation I will remember those 2 beautiful little steps that lead the way... slow and steady wins the race.  


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