The amazing and talented Shawn of the Doodlethoughts blog has awarded me the Thinking Blogger Award.
I am truly pleased and honored and she said really nice things about me without me having to bribe her with cookies or anything. Now, the deal is, I have to pick five bloggers to award this to and that's going to be really hard. I want to pick ones that haven't already received the award and I don't want to leave any one out. The ones I've picked will come at the end of the post. I felt that my post today should show what a thoughtful and thinking blogger I am. What better way than to help out the poor people whose keyword search landed them at my blog where they obviously didn't get the answers they needed. Being the thoughtful and thinking blogger I am, I have provided them answers and some sage advice in case they ever wander this way again. The keywords are in bold text. I obviously couldn't answer all of the keywords, I had to pick and choose. The following are the keywords I felt needed the most help.
Kill A Bear By Striking It On The Nose With A Stick Of Wood
Oh, honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but the person who gave you this advice either has a really sick sense of humor or is trying to do you in to collect the insurance money. While I don't profess to being a bear expert I am pretty sure that all you will achieve is pissing off the bear, and an angry bear is a bad thing. An angry bear will most likely eat you. If you are cornered by a bear and you only have a stick of wood to defend yourself with the best advice I can give you is to hit yourself on the head with it until you are unconscious. This way the bear will leave you alone because it will be completely freaked out that you just beat yourself unconscious and everyone knows bears won't eat any thing that shows insane or rabid behavior, or if the bear is insane or rabid itself and decides to eat you anyway, you won't feel a thing because you are unconscious. Good luck with your next camping trip.
These two came right next to each other: Encrypting AOL Tape Wrapped Mummy I knew AOL's customer base is falling, and truly this is a good thing, but are they really mummifying people and sticking them in crypts? Is this good business practice? AOL, please, just let them go.
Insensitive Neighbors Feeding The Squirrels Peanuts Is this directed at me? Because if it is I don't see how you can pick on my feeding them peanuts when the guy on the other side gives them dried corncobs which they bring into my yard after they have been stripped of corn and my stupid dog eats the corncob and then comes in and gaks up corncob goo all over my carpet. Isn't that more deserving of an 'insensitive' label? I should think so.
Asian Cannibals Just out of curiosity, why are you looking for Asian Cannibals in specific? Do they have better recipes?
Girls With Crunchy Bits Are you the same guy who was looking for Asian Cannibals? Girls don't have crunchy bits. Not unless you dip them in batter and deep fry them and that's just wrong.
Crunchy Squirrel You are not eating my squirrels. Crunchy or other wise. What is wrong with you?
Baby Crunchy Knees Okay, you guys are just getting too weird for me. This just has to stop. Now!
How To Kill Guppies Hit them on the nose with a stick. Are attack guppies a problem in your area?
Are Little Red Spiders Hurting My Squash? No. The fearsome, free-ranging, attack guppies are the ones hurting your squash. Go get a stick.
Fearsome Supernatural Frogs Okay. I really don't know what to say about this except I find the whole idea horrifying. What would a Fearsome Supernatural Frog do to one? I am assuming smacking it on the nose with a stick would be out of the question. What makes them supernatural? Do they fly? Because I don't think I could handle going for a walk and suddenly being smacked about by a fearsome, supernatural, flying frog. New rule, if you are going to search for things like this you need to tell me where you are from so I know not to go there. I also need to know the back story on things like this. Like, are you a normal, upstanding, clear-headed individual or were you high when you encountered the Fearsome Supernatural Frogs?
And now, I present you with my choices for the Thinking Blog Award: Blogaway: I love the photos, they are of unexpected and non-typical subjects. The writing that accompanies them always pleases me and makes me feel as if I am there. My favorite recent post is this one here. I don't know if I would have been brave enough to do what she did.
Pam of Doodlestreet is an excellent cartoonist. Her toons always make me smile. This tea toon is one of my favorites. Not only that, she has a fantastic sense of humor and some wonderful childhood stories. How she survived her childhood and actually made it too adulthod is a wonder and a miracle. One of my favorite stories can be found here. I tried to find it on her site so I could send you there instead but her archives work a bit differently than mine so I couldn't find it.
Dreamdust: One of the first blogs I stalked. Her writing is funny and full of a wonderful wit. ? This is one of the blogs that makes me laugh out loud. She is a truly gifted photographer and has even had one of her photographs painted on the ourside of an airplane. How cool is that?!! She also has odd ideas about gourd romance. Go here to see what I mean.
Passions Of My Heart: This woman is an inspiration to me. She also has an inflamatory bowel disease. A different one than me, she has ulcerative colitis. Just as nasty as Crohn's. But, through it all, she is attending college, actually goes on field trips to the great wilds on rock hunting trips, works and lives a good and full life. She even makes time to send me kind and uplifting emails and always seems to know when I need them. Her photos are absolutely beautiful and her writing gives you a peek into her life without being whiny. Something I, myself, need to learn to do.
Life With Heathens: Another person who is an inspiration to me. Jo describes herself as a 32 year old mother who just happens to have cancer. She is so much more than that. She has the ability to transcend the bad and to make others feel good about themselves. She is sweet, kind, and goes out of her way to find ways to help others. For example she just started Mad Click Monday which I think is an excellent idea and I am hoping I don't forget to do it next week. She also runs more than one blog, bless her, and keeps them all going. She must have a magic clock that stops time because how she finds the time to do the whole mom thing and run multi-blogs I'll never know. Jo isn't perfect though, there are moments when I do question her sanity, such as her unhealthy attraction to Gordon Ramsey. This is a very scary man, I mean he makes people cry.
I want you all to know it was so hard to pick just 5 bloggers to award. I wish I could have done 50, but rules are rules. So I am counting on you who have been awarded to not forget to pick 5 bloggers of your own to pass the award on to.