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Depression Chronicles Pt. 5

Posted Jan 24 2012 7:30am

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The little things seems so hard.  The things you need the most, human contact, normalcy, routine, are the most difficult.  Your brain turns off, there is no other way for me to explain it.  It's as if that part of you, the part that lets you reach out or just do basic functions, goes to sleep.  
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The harder you try, the more difficult it becomes.  You can feel the stress and anger coursing through your body.  Frustration becomes the main emotion for the day.  You just really can't do it.
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To make matters worse, the one thing that does work in your brain is that damned inner critic.  It doesn't notice how hard you are trying, it doesn't care.  It waits quietly and then jumps forward gleefully proclaiming your failures. It also whispers to you of how everyone else sees your failures and how much they hate you for it.  The logical part of you knows this is highly unlikely, but that nasty little beast dwelling in your psyche is great at kicking the logical part out of the way.

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