Tonight I will have my last meal before the colonoscopy. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to eat, so I turned to the internet for inspiration. That’s where I came across this record of the final meal requests of inmates on Death Row. It makes for an oddly fascinating read. Requests vary between those who want a massive blow out before they bow out (two 16 oz. ribeyes, one lb. turkey breast (sliced thin), twelve strips of bacon, two large hamburgers with mayo, onion, and lettuce, two large baked potatoes with butter, sour cream, cheese, and chives, four slices of cheese or one-half pound of grated cheddar cheese, chef salad with blue cheese dressing, two ears of corn on the cob, one pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, and four vanilla Cokes or Mr. Pibb) to those who seem to be pointlessly counting the calories, like a certain James Russell who in 1991 simply asked for an apple. Bless. In retrospect, perhaps the Texas Department of Criminal Justice wasn’t exactly the best place to look for recipe ideas. After reading some of the offender profiles I actually lost my appetite. But putting Death Row to the back of my mind and thinking only happy thoughts I finally decided on what my last meal will be – mature cheddar cheese sandwiches made with thick, crusty white bread. Nice and simple. I think James Russell would have approved.