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Colonoscopy Results & Questions I Won’t Ask The Surgeon

Posted Jan 27 2009 5:05pm

My latest colonoscopy results are in. Prior to the colonoscopy, I was still in the decision making process and trying to overcome my fear of surgery. Well, the colonoscopy made the decision for me. After seven years of maximum dosage for my ulcerative colitis, I’m not improving. While I could suck it up and keep on trucking, my body is taking a beating from the immunity suppressants on top of the already unpleasant UC conditions. I can’t see myself putting up with this for the rest of my life. My GI is referring me to UCSF. Does anyone have any experience with UCSF, or have you heard anything about them through the J-Pouch community?

Results are in

Results are in

I have a kwazillion questions to ask the surgeon candidate. A kwazillion. Scientists maintain that’s a real number when it comes to questions regarding anything related to a scalpel. I’m currently compiling a list, spanning all areas from the ileostomy bag and the recovery process to insurance coverage and surgery experience. Each time I think of something, I add it to this list. If I don’t break the surgeon down into tears from the mass amount of questions on the list, I obviously don’t have enough questions. There are a few questions I won’t ask the surgeon about having a J-Pouch, though. Questions I won’t ask the surgeon:

1 ) Can I tell my friends I’m half android with a J-Pouch? Or is it half cyborg?
2 ) With the J-Pouch, will I still get nauseous from watching CW ads for 090210 and Gossip Girl?
3 ) Is it true I can time-travel with the J-Pouch if I eat enough chili?
4 ) What are we looking at for the percentage gain in Chick Magnetism with a J-Pouch?
5 ) Did you cry at the end of Titanic? The Notebook?
6 ) Since I weigh less (hello, I’m missing a colon), am I better at Pop-Lock dance routines?
7 ) Do J-Pouchers get discounts?
8 ) Are you House?

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