So, a word of caution....if you don't want to read about bowel cleaning, stop reading now. It's that simple. There will be no photos of poop or graphic descriptions of texture and consistency...if you want that you can email me and I'll gladly share.
Now that that is out of the way.....
POOP! It can make or ruin anyone's day. The bowel is considered by many to be the (ahem) "seat" of all health, and anyone who knows me knows that this is one of my sincerest beliefs.
We are WHAT we eat, which means when we eat unhealthily (junk food, food we can't tolerate and food in wrong combination) WE are also unhealthy.
Not only that, we are also HOW we eat. Emotions and the gut go hand in hand, and eating when we are sad, angry, upset, depressed or anxious intrinsically affects how we digest that that food.
I can attest to having eaten things that are bad for me, and eating when I am anxious, and both times I have ended up with a swollen belly and terrible pains. It's no fun, but it's something that unless you've experienced it, you don't really know how severe it can be.
With my digestive problems, I've had a pretty good 5 weeks up recently....little bloating, little pain, little exhaustion, so I must be doing something right. I don't know if it's because I'm in school and that has upped my mood a bit, or if I am just eating a proper combination of things now, or both. I'm not going to obsess about it (too much) I'm just going with it. Since it's been over a month of healthy tummy, I figured it was time to have my first colonic. YAY! I have wanted to do this for so long, but with my stomach having daily flare ups and pain, I didn't want to exacerbate it anymore by introducing a procedure that might just irritate it more.
I am so glad I waited, and I am so glad I did it. Let me tell you all about it.....well, not ALL about it.
WHY GET A COLONIC?The colon (large intestine and bowel) is about 5-6ft in length and 1 inch in diameter. It is a two-way wall that completes our digestive processes, absorbing nutrients into the blood stream and excreting toxins from the body. It's like our own personal sewage system.
Because we fill our bodies (both voluntarily and involuntarily) with all kinds of substances that our bodies were not designed to process, such as junk food; chemicals; and pollution, our bodies are often overloaded and can't eliminate the toxins properly.
IF these toxins are not eliminated, we suffer from auto-intoxication, which is basically the putrefaction within the intestinal tract. The waste material intended for excretion ends up re-entering our bloodstream and makes us sick. As years pass, the body becomes so overwhelmed by toxicity that diseases like allergies, migraines, skin disorders, Crohn's, parasites, Candida and other illnesses develop. It is common for someone with any type of illness to go undiagnosed until they are in the late stages of the disease or infection.
Did you know the average person's colon can often hold 8-25 lbs of accumulated matter? That's like having a poop-toddler in your gut. Not cool. A lot of the time, this matter begins to dry out and cling to the sides of our intestines, which narrows the already thin passageway and prevents nutrients from passing through the intestinal wall.
So, what are we to do? Well, we can get a colonic!
WHAT IS A COLONIC?A colonic is a process of removing accumulated matter, mucus and sludge from the colon by gently rinsing the colon with warm water. This allows vital nutrients to be absorbed more readily, reshapes and tones the bowel (yes, even your bowel needs toning!) and leaves you feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.
The process takes about 45 minutes, and in that time between 120-133 liters of filtered water is passed into the large intestine (through the bum!) in a series of filling and releasing actions. This is done (usually) by an accredited Colon Hydro therapist, who also counsels you at the same time (it helps distract you from the fact that there's a tube up your bum) on nutrition, supplements, diet and lifestyle. The person you choose to do this should be someone you trust and respect, because really, it's pretty damn intimate.
First, the therapist will massage your tummy to find your transverse colon and to see how your large intestine is positioned. They might also do some pulling and stretching of your torso just to get you ready for the process.
"How is this tube inserted?", you might be asking. Well, the patient lies in the fetal position on a bed while the therapist lubes up a speculum (ladies, you know what this is; gentlemen, google it) and inserts in into your rectum. It doesn't hurt (feels weird) and once it's there, well, it's just there. You wanted it, deal with it. The speculum has two hoses, one that pushes water into you, and one that acts as a viaduct for the water to be expelled. It's all incredibly hygienic, and no, nothing spills and nothing stinks. If your therapist is good, they'll put on some tunes. I had Van Morrison for mine, it WAS a marvelous night for a moon-dance. Literally.
The therapist then begins to slowly filter water into you while continuing to massage your tummy. Once the first bit of water is in there, they will move you onto your back with your legs bent (again, ladies, this should not be a foreign experience to you) and begin the 45 minutes of filling up your intestines, then releasing the water and dislodged matter from you. The feelings you might start experiencing range anywhere from relief and relaxation to nausea and cramping. Both are totally natural and fine.
A very interesting aspect of this process, in my experience, is that there is a full length mirror hanging right above you, so you can watch the stuff leaving you. This is to connect how you feel to what you see, as the mind-body connection with the bowel is paramount to good digestive health. It's a little like a Bikram yoga experience, in that no matter how uncomfortable or awkward it feels, you just have to breathe and stare in the mirror, knowing that these feelings are supposed to be happening, and the person working on you is trustworthy and will not let you get hurt.
What you will see coming out of you varies depending on your diet, your overall health, and your emotional state during the process. If you're uptight and nervous, you won't get good results, you HAVE to relax. You HAVE to trust it. You HAVE to remember that you chose to do this. I had a great experience because I was looking forward to it (yes, I was) and my diet is very good....my therapist said I had "great lookin stuff". I bet she says that to all the girls.
When the 45 minutes is up, you have to go sit on the toilet and let allll the rest of the water out of you. Take a book, it'll be a while.
Finally, the therapist will check in to see that you're okay, you might be feeling tired, nauseous, worn out....OR you (like the majority of people) will feel lighter, clearer and more refreshed. This was my experience. I felt like a zillion bucks. The therapist will give you advice on what to eat over the next few days, as well as how you might feel in the hours coming. Because of the emotional tie we all have to our bowels, certain emotions that you may have been suppressing might come up, and it can be scary. This is all natural and a sign that the colonic did what it had to. Be easy on yourself.
I'm not going to list any of the recommendations that my therapist gave me, because everyone is different. I will say that I had two in a row, one in the evening and the next morning, and will have two more over the course of the month, to see how my body reacts. One colonic is often never enough because we hold this stuff in us for YEARS! I came home and drank a whole bunch of green juice and tea and had one of the best sleeps I have had in years. Seriously.
Another awesome (but temporary) thing was that after weighing myself before and after the process, I was 10lbs lighter! Holy crap!
So, that, in a nutshell, or a couple dozen nutshells, is my colonic experience. I thought it was great, I am so happy I did it and the therapist suggested I take a course in Colon Hydrotherapy because I seem "perfect for this job". As anyone who knows me will tell you, I take that as a MAJOR compliment.
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1. Check your background before shooting a self portrait about you being nervous about a Colonic treatment. 2. Get yer bangs cut, ya hippie.
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I know where I"m going after my Colonic! Classy Affair AND Ladystache? Is it Christmas?
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Subtle doorway for those embarrased about getting a tube put up their bum.
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Yes, you get to watch stuff come out your bum. It's actually reallly cool.
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I KNOW WHAT THIS IS FOR!!! All Colonics come with a Happy Ending? OH, its just an abdominal massager? SUUURE
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Now to consume a concoction of kale, spinach, apples, ginger and chard! MMMM!
xoxoxodevo
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