14. People are always baking cakes, placingthem in the most adorable cake tins and delivering them to other people only tofind the erstwhile recipient murdered which always shocks them so much theydrop their cakes. This happens so oftenjournalists should probably follow cake tin bearing people so that they can bethe first to break a murder story to their papers.
15. People in small villages either live inadorable little cottages, fetid farmhouses or huge family manors bigger thanSmithsonian Museum.
16. Like the red shirts in Star Trek, Irishmen arealmost always murdered off often after wrongly fingering them as a suspect.
17. In period mysteries Americans are alwaysrich, silly, unmannered oafs. The menfind the villages to be ‘quaint’ and the women find the villages to be ‘dismal’. They are always useless, over bearing and notmurdered off often or fast enough.
18. Never underestimate the powers of an oldwoman. They either know a lot more thanthey are saying (in which case they will be bludgeoned to death while knittingor watching television) or they themselves are the murderer.
19. If you are a minister it is NEVER a good ideato light candles or say prayers late at night in your dark church. You will be killed in a creative and gory waywith some kind of religious artifact and as an artistic touch left on your ownaltar.
20. When finally caught the murderersalways fully confess and politely explain points the detective’s assistant mayhave missed. In the case of old womenmurderers they perfectly time their confession to finish just a few minutesbefore the self-inflicted poison kicks in and kills them off.