But, drat! I missed Star Wars day yesterday. (It's May 4, as in "May the Fourth be with you.") But no worries! There's still May 25 to plan for, which is both Geek Pride Day (i.e., the day Star Wars was released) and Towel Day (a memorial to Douglas Adams).
Glad I was able to amuse you all with my embarrassing tale last week! Don't know why, but it's the doozies that really make the best funny stories. But today, I feel the need to ramble and throw out what's been on my mind lately. There's something non-funny embarrassing going on: I'm struggling. It's human, and I don't know why it should embarrass me, but it does. Maybe because once I admit it, I'll have to do something about it, and if it doesn't work, I'll feel like a failure. Damn.
Anyhoo. So lately, I've been feeling a sort of desperate feeling, especially at last week's weigh-in. My weight had been creeping up to my red line and finally went over, and I felt powerless to stop it. (Which is bunk, I know! I've lost over 70 pounds and kept it off for over a year now, so I know what I can do when my back is to the wall.) Part of me wanted to just say forget it. The pull of the salty, roasted nuts can be so strong. I've gotten too smart about which calorie-bombs will satisfy me and yet not up my blood glucose levels, which at least is healthy stuff. And then, walking the tightrope of too-many carbs: how many slivers of a donut will knock me over? Otherwise, I probably would have said "*bleep* it" long before now and dove straight into a bag of chips with a pint of premium ice cream on the side. This "shizzle," as MizFit would say, is really hard. Fairly straightforward, but hard.
I think what really saves me this time around is the support and accountability of blogging and type 2 diabetes. Lots of things came together: The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans started a 21 Day Habit Challenge, and it wasn't tied to weight loss AT ALL! (yeay!) I decided to commit to tracking EVERY day and not avoiding the weekends when I could use more accountability. (I also committed to flossing my teeth, which I had been really good about doing but has lately become a habit-on-the-slip. Which isn't as out-there as it seems; there's a connection between diabetes and dental health.) And Biz wrote her post today, " Keeping the Eye on the Prize ," and it made me realize that I have some work to do.
Right here (yes, I'm back below red line weight) is a really comfortable place for me. I still feel like I can eat enough to make me feel good and satisfy my "foodie" side, yet stay within a given range. But lately, I've been feeling like I ought to try a little harder, to at least get back to where I was last summer (which is about 10 pounds lower than I am now). I feel like I need to break though the plateau and get to goal, to at least taste it. "Goal" for me is the upper end of the healthy weight range for my height, a little over what I weighed in college, and is 26.2 pounds away. Is it a reasonable goal? No way of knowing until I try a little harder to get there. (And no, I really don't think it's a matter of not eating enough calories; -.5 lb/week gave me a calorie budget of around 2000 calories, and I'd generally eat more when I exercised, so my net was rarely below my daily budget. -1 lb per week gives me a budget of 1788, and my calorie counter counts one's "net calories" for the day, which is gross calories-exercise. Exercise calories, I know, are a guesstimate, but I do try to keep it conservative.)
So what's the plan? Right now, I'm doing everything "fitness-ly" possible. I can't give any more time to it than I do already, and I'm pretty good about intensity when I'm working out. It has to be the food: portion control, planning what I'm going to eat before I put it in my mouth, mindful eating. (Mr. Handsome-and-Handy cooks in a highly supportive manner; I am the one who puts the food in my mouth on the weekends, though.) *sigh*, I know, the usual stuff. I also have to be okay with feeling hungry now and then. I feel physically hungry right now, in fact. I'm planning to eat in about a half hour, so I'll wait it out. (Later: Greek yogurt and strawberries. Yum!)
I often use my commute time to listen to books on CD that I want to read, but am too lazy to do at home. In other words, non-fiction items from the library. Well, not all non-fiction; I listened to a compilation of old detective radio shows lately. But I've been listening to some interesting items lately. One was "Steering by Starlight" by Martha Beck, and the other is "What Should I Do with My Life?" by Po Bronson. Both are read by the authors, who do a fantastic job. I enjoyed both quite a lot. I think Beck's book was saved from seeming too woo-woo by her common sense vibe and friendly-gravelly voice. The Bronson book is actually a re-listen, and it has all kinds of little "zingers" in it that I hadn't remembered from my last listen. (Which was probably several years and many formative CDs ago.) One theme in his book is that change often doesn't happen until it "gets personal": the suffering one is in becomes immediate and concrete, and one has to change. Boy, I sure can relate to that one.
Not sure how many of you follow Amy Tenderish's "Diabetes Mine" site; it's a good one. Today, she posted an article called, " Five Foods to Consider ," in which a nutritionist and CDE discusses the benefits of some food choices one may not have considered. I knew about most of them--chia seeds, Greek-style yogurt, and 70%+ dark chocolate are in regular rotation--but I didn't know that quinoa was considered a seed rather than a whole grain. I need to sneak some more salmon in there. Mr. Handsome-and-Handy enjoys it also, but we tend to go frugal on the protein (and go for foods that the kids would eat--they're a little too old for the "it's pink chicken!" fib).
Progress This Week
7-day blood glucose average: 102 (met goal of less than 120) 7-day fasting blood glucose average: 102 (met goal of less than 120)
Weight goals: -4.4. Whew! Back below my "red line" weight.
Food goals: I actually did it! I set a goal of tracking all 7 days, no matter how painful. And oh, was it painful! Tracking over the weekend made me realize how much I slack off and mindlessly eat on the weekends. I'd eat, and then sit down and track, and then remember stuff later on that I'd forgotten, and pretty soon I was over budget. I think setting the calorie threshold to a 1 lb/week setting has been helpful, because even if I go over a little bit, I can still maintain. Fiber: On days tracked, averaged 33 grams/day.
Exercise goals: Met all goals this week. Total mileage: 35 miles Wednesday - 80 minutes (.8 mile) - 10-minute solutions yoga in the morning; in the afternoon, treadmill run (10 minutes, .8 mile) to warm up for Body Pump class (1 hour). Thursday - Rest Friday - 56 minutes (12.05 miles) - Stationary bike (38 minutes, 10.5 miles) and treadmill run (18 minutes, 1.55 miles) at the gym. Saturday - 4 hours - School clean-up day. Lots of yardwork (sweeping, weeding, a bit of lifting heavy things), so I'm counting this as strength exercise. Sunday - Rest Monday - 70 minutes (22.15 miles) - Spin class. It usually goes for an hour, but I was a little early and the instructor went a little late, so got some extra time and miles. Tuesday - 40 minutes (2 miles) - Lunchtime walk
Teeth: Flossed all but one day. Sleep: Getting 7-8 hours per night. Hockey Respite for Mr. H&H: Accomplished, and then some! Mr. H&H got to go to the first game of the Red Wings vs. Sharks series. Though the way the Wings have been playing against the Sharks (not to mention the poor officiating), well, don't know how much longer this will be on the goal list.
Goals for Next Week
7-day blood glucose average goal and fasting numbers: below 120. Weight goal: Maintain or make progress toward goal.
Food goals* Track food intake DAILY. * Track fiber, aiming for at least 30 grams/day average.
Exercise goals* 30 minutes of activity 5 days/week. * Spin class at least once per week. I'd like to shoot for two, since I'm doing the bike portion of the "Tri the Coast" in early June. * 2 strength sessions (BodyPump + something on my own)
Misc. goalsSisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans 21 Day Habit Challenge goal of flossing daily. 7 or more hours sleep/night. Continued "Hockey Respite" for Mr. H&H: Get home in time for Mr. Handsome-and-Handy to watch the Detroit Red Wings playoff games. (Go Wings!)