I've been disconnected. From family and friends. From classmates. From my pump for a few days because I simply forgot to reorder supplies early and since I switched health insurance providers, there was quite a bit of lag time. Luckily, Medtronic overnighted me two weeks worth of supplies for free. Everyone at Medtronic has been so helpful and fr
iendly on the phone each and every time I've called. I feel like they're long lost friends. But I never should've let it get to the point where I didn't realize I was out of supplies. I thought I had two boxes hiding in the attic, but alas, I did not. I used my Lantus and Humalog pen again and it was fine--just fine, but I did miss the accuracy of the pump during those days. As much as I don't like having a c
ontraption attached to my body at all times, I've been blessed with my purple pump and there's no going back. It took me 18 years to fully embrace pumping, but here we are, attached and in a healthy symbiotic relationship.
The day my pump arrived in the mail earlier this year, I fell in love. Embracing Gil with all my heart--kisses even! I couldn't wait to get started, and in fact, didn't wait until the official training at the hospital to begin, which caused some fallout. But it's hard to be patient when infatuation and the newness of love is flowing through you.
The feelings of being in love are an intoxicating drug and I've been drunk on love this October--real love--not with a medical device, but a real live man. Yeah, good stuff. It's a beautiful thing, really, but I do admit that it took others who care for me to notice that I've not noticed my waning presence in their lives. And that's no good. So my love and I are making a concerted effort to get back to reality...well, sorta. The magic remains, but we're taking it out in the real world now. No more hibernation. This is where the rubber hits the road and we start going--together.
One of the things I appreciate about my love is that he genuinely wants to be actively involved in my diabetes life. Not in a "should you eat that" kinda way, but in an understanding, empathetic way. He knows how to inject, how to dis/reconnect my pump, how I bolus and test my glucose and how to help when I'm low (or high). He's seen me change my pump site, watched bruises form and subside and has rid my tired fingers of blood from endless fingersticks. He tests his bloodsugar with me sometimes, watching is own glucose levels rise (126 after dinner) and fall (86 upon waking, which I "beat" this morning with 80 mg/dl). He's coming to my endo appointment with me in two weeks, and though he would gladly swap pancreases with me if he could, he knows that he can't, and embraces life with me and my diabetes diagnosis.
So thank you for coming along with me on this journey and excusing my absence these past few weeks. I'm back and very, very happy about that. As I practice
how to shift my focus in every little tiny miniscule moment of my life to align with all the goodness and truth that abounds, I see how very blessed I am, and gratitude oozes from my life, overflowing and filling my world with loveliness and joy. I hope you feel that in this moment, as well, and know that one small action--a comment on a blog or a posted poem, could change your life forever in ways you're only beginning to comprehend but are beautiful and endlessly inspiring nonetheless. .