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Don't look a gift horse in the mouth

Posted Sep 12 2008 11:56am

I realize that after reading this post some of you will think I'm completely crazy. It's OK. I think I'm crazy most of the time anyway.

I posted last that Riley's sugars have averaged 147 over the last week. Well, I've been keeping up with his daily average too. Monday it was 144 with his lowest sugar being 87 and a high of 288. Yesterday his average sugar was 126 with a low of 83 and a high of 212. So far today he's averaged 130 with a low of 80 and a high of 204.

I should be jumping up and down with excitement, right? I'm not.

What's wrong with me? I can't seem to get excited about his sugars.

At first, I thought maybe he's just honeymooning. But, his insulin dosages have not decreased. All of his basals are the highest they've ever been. The last time I made an adjustment to his basals was on November 18th and that was to increase some of them. Just to be sure, I googled "the honeymoon phase type 1 diabetes" and found just what I expected. When someone is honeymooning their insulin needs decrease and they may be able to stop taking insulin all together for a short time. So, he's not honeymooning, I don't guess.

And, he's not somehow miraculously cured. He's gone into the 200s at least once every day.

Riley's sugars have not ever been this low since he was diagnosed. Ever. Not even in the beginning when he supposedly was honeymooning. There was a time when he went into the 300s at least once if not twice every day. I just thought that's how it is. Sugars go up and they go down. The key was to not let it stay up or down for too long.

So, what's going on? Did I just somehow unlock the secret basal code? Did I win the diabetic lottery?

Whatever it is, it's making my uncomfortable. Yes, you read that right. (I told you, you'd think I was crazy.) I feel like something is wrong. His sugars are great. Yet, there's this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Why do I feel uneasy? I really don't know. Maybe it's because I know it's not going to last long and that diabetes is eventually going to come back full force and kick my butt.

I don't know. It just doesn't seem....right, somehow. He's not supposed to have normal sugars. Although that's what I'm supposed to be trying to achieve, I guess I thought it was unachievable.

I know from experience that sometimes diabetes just is what it is. I shouldn't be worrying about why it's happening. I should just be enjoying it while it's happening. While I know all of this, I still can't quite enjoy it.

Anyone else out there ever felt like this about a good run of sugars, like something was wrong? If so, let me know. That way I'll know that maybe I'm crazy but not completely crazy.

And, if you do think I'm completely crazy just comment with a "Gee Penny, you're a great person." That way I'll know you think I'm completely off my rocker, but you don't actually have to come out and say it. ;-)

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