Hello,If your really ready to change,You will.I married an addict,Without even knowing it.It was many years of ups and downs,But he really had to want it not for me but himself.Sorry to say Iam now divorced and hes still an addict.But I met so many people in meeting halls and heard so many stories to know people can change!Good luck and put one foot in front of the other.Its not always gonna be easy,But thats life.Hang in there,Get support!

Just take one day at a time.  It will get easier the longer you work at it.