I am feeling in desperate need of help. I just now learned about Wrightslaw.
My son is 7 years old, his ADHD has been characterized as “very severe” - by one evaluator, “most severe I’ve seen in 25 years of practice.” I’ve taken him to three private evaluations and he is now under the care of one of the most respected child neurologists in the county.
He is also gifted. He was in a private school that really couldn’t meet his needs, so I placed him in public school. He has an IEP.
He gets good grades in second grade, nothing below a C, and he reads on average at the 3rd grade level. I have a tutor who works with him one, sometimes two hours a day. I spend at least an hour or more a day with him also. I think it’s the support he’s getting at home, not in school, that is keeping him afloat.
We just started late last school year a very low dose of Dexedrine, which helps a bit, but if we do much more, interferes with sleep and appetite so we are careful.
Fortunately, the teachers over the years have all agreed that he is the sweetest dear in the class; kind, respectful, well behaved – model child in that department. But every last one of them has said he needs too much guidance.
His PreK teacher said he was the brightest in the class but simply could not stay on task for more than a couple of moments. It was she who suggested I test for gifted and she was correct.
He is in a full time gifted program with 33 students and two full time teachers. Both of these teachers are enormously frustrated by his need for guidance “95 percent of the time.”
They told me on the 7th day of school “this has to end,” They say things like “I don’t care if he has an IEP, he needs to be more independent.”
He comes home with a chart filled mostly with sad faces because he didn’t complete various tasks (like writing down homework) correctly. They are bothered by the fact that they have to write it down. I don’t like the idea of him being penalized if he doesn’t, since its written into his IEP that they must help.
One is a brand new teacher. I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t know much about the condition. I’m still learning and never would have believed it could be this maddening if I hadn’t been living with it for so long.
Anyway, the school has called an IEP team meeting – I did not request this – for this Thursday where the county special ed director will be present. I’m concerned they are going to lower some kind of boom.
1.Can I ask for a paraprofessional? I’ve heard there are other ADHD kids in the class too. And even though two teachers for 30 plus kids should be fine, I think there are other children who could use the help.
Then even if you want a paraprofessional, don’t ask for one.
Instead, focus on the IEP goals and accommodations.
If more staff is needed, do you want to request someone other than a teacher to teach your son? Let the non-certified staff supervise recess, collect data, move chairs around for reading groups, help with the buses, etc.
Let teachers do the teaching. They have the training, we hope.
Q:Can they ask my child to leave the school?
A: No, they cannot ask your son to leave. They are required to teach him.They are even required to teach him with out making him feel like he doesn’t belong there.
More Excellent Advice
About the IEP meeting:
Go ahead and attend the meeting, but as soon as you get there tell them that you were unable to prepare because you do not know why they have asked for the meeting.
If the meeting gets out of hand, repeat that you were unable to prepare for the meeting because you did not know what would be discussed, and ask them to “reconvene at a later date when you will be able to participate as an informed member of the team”.
If the meeting is going fairly well, still respond to whatever is presented with, “Well, I didn’t know we were going to discuss this. Let me get back to you about it in a few days.”
Don’t agree or do anything at the meeting. If they wanted you to be prepared and be a full participant they would have told you what the meeting is about ahead of time. You control whether or not they catch you off guard. Just go there to find out what they want and then respond to it in writing. Read “Letter to a Stranger” once you have had time to think.
About the teachers:
The teachers who are having trouble with your son are basically saying that they would be happy to teach him if he would just stop having his disability. Tough.
They get the whole kid. If you can live through it, so can they. They are a public school. He is the public.
When they say, “He . . .
doesn’t pay attention,
wanders off task,
drives the teacher to drink,
doesn’t show his work on math problems,
You say, “That is part of his disability. Let’s take a look at…
his program (IEP) and see if we need to change the goals (increase services)
accommodations (an accommodation is something the teacher does to level the playing field for the student, not something the child changes to make life easier for the teacher)
placement (like a nice private school for gifted students [not likely], not a “resource” room for a gifted kid)
or maybe add some staff training (like have an expert come into the school and train the teachers how to teach a bright busy child).”
About the chart:
What needs to end is this chart full of sad face stickers.
How do they think that makes him feel? Do they think the sad face stickers are going to change his disability? Does the kid in the wheelchair get sad faces on her chart for not walking well? If they gave the kid in the wheelchair sad face stickers do they think it would change the way she walks?
You son has a hefty dose of a neurological deficit that affects his global behavior. He is also a child who attends a public school.
He is also a child who they will educate and will not damage by inappropriate behavior on their part. That is a sentence you may want to state at the meeting depending on how the meeting goes. My bet is you will find an opportunity to make that statement - politely, no yelling, even if it kills you.
Then make sure you participate in writing future IEPs.
If you really look at what the IEP says about your son’s present level of performance, what it expects him to accomplish and provides for accommodations, you may see that it could use some additional information and tweaking.
If the IEP team and all your son’s teachers were abducted by aliens tonight, would the people who stepped in to take their place be able to do it seamlessly based on what is in the IEP? If you close up the holes it may be easier for everyone to follow it and to understand your son’s disability and degree of disability.
Order the books and organize and calm yourself in preparation for Thursday’s meeting. All you need to do there is take notes and respond with common sense as appropriate.
If you get over your head, remind them that you did not know about the subject of the meeting until you arrived and you would like to “reconvene the meeting at a later date when you can participate as a fully informed member of the IEP team”.
How to Find an Advocate
In my area, who would be a good advocate, or how do I research and find one on my own?