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How To Tell Someone That They Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Posted Oct 07 2008 6:19pm
I get this question a lot in my emails: "I believe my friend has Borderline Personality Disorder how do I tell him so that he/she will get help. The simple answer is you don't and if you do get ready for an attack. Borderline Personality Disorder is a condition where the person needs to figure it out themselves or it is going to go bad in a hurry. Borderline is not like Depression where a few trips to a therapist and the right medication may quickly put it in check (Yes I know I am minimizing depression but stick with me here) but a disorder that you literally have to go back to the beginning of your life and start over but this time with healthy choices and options. Everything that I was thought to believe was right was actually wrong and unhealthy, what I thought were normal everyday thoughts turned out that very few people actually experienced it and all of a sudden I am faced with the truth so what am I going to do? Am I going to pretend I never saw it and continue my life the way it was or am I going to take the opportunity to rewrite my history and work to be a healthier person. Now the readers of this blog are going to say that I chose the second option which I have but it came after a long time of putting up with that nagging little voice that kept telling me my life was a lie. If someone came to me before I reached that pinnacle and said "Untreatable you have Borderline Personality Disorder" I would have looked at you as if you said one plus one equals three. See from my perspective I can read all about how people with BPD have unsteady relationships or emotions that can change in a blink in the eye or whatever the current literature is saying about this disorder and none of it would apply to me because from my view what I see is the same patterns my life has always produced.

I seem to be running away from the answer here. The reason I have attempted to change is I realized everything in my life was wrong and I was tired of trying to convince myself that everything was fine so I went back to the textbooks and DSM until I found something that fit. Then once I reached that stage it took sometime before I ran it across the doctor and even when he agreed with the diagnosis it took more time to actually accept it. Some days I think and strongly believe my life would be easier if I stayed in the dark but I also know that it came to a point where either I fought the monster or it was going to kill me. Take care

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